Do you ever get the feeling that you just repel people? And not just some people or a certain class of people; I mean all people. No matter how hard you try, no matter how honest and open you are, people just don't seem to click with you.
I'm currently finding it harder to deal with the pressures of trying to fit in to any society whilst remaining true to myself.
If I want to be successful and progress in the business, I must do this and say That, believe in myself and make sure to come across as investable. How do I do all that when I dont know what to say? I've believed in myself since day one which has proven pointless and I'm clearly not investable otherwise I wouldn't be in the predicament right now!!
If I want to fit in amongst my peers, my best friends; I must be outgoing, spontaneous and courageously intoxicate myself into infinity. I am outgoing, but only to places I feel comfortable. I'm spontaneous as fuck, when it's my choice. And I love the idea of going out and partying till my legs give in, but experience has made me fearful of the nightlife.
If I want to fit in at work I must be productive, focused and efficient. I'm productive in the sense I get shit done, but in my own time. I'm focused but I have a pon chante for getting distracted, but most importantly I am efficient although I lack organisation skills.
Fitting in is by far from one of my strong points. Especially when I feel I have no direction. Although I know I have a direction I've just been veering off course my whole life. Like a biker taking his sweet time, swaying from side to side down an open country road. He knows where he wants to go he's just enjoying the ride.
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