This one completely blew my mind.
I have been hiding in the covers of school but now school is almost done and i have no option but face and feed on what reality and the entire world present before me.
I've been caught up in the lights of responsibility apparently, not working yet but as if doing so, not yet with child but having many holding onto my back.
When i was still a teen, i had dreams, i wanted to fly, i would always look at myself in the mirror and all i could say to that image was you're going to be prosperous, you're going to get money, you're going to be rich and will spend it where it is worth.
Am not saying they have fed away but things have changed recently. Age is defining me, differentiating me from that girl i was, orienting me to another angle and way of seeing things.
At times i feel betrayed but the whole point is not about age its about fear of growing up. I tend to encourage myself but all left for me to do is just let the prophesies come to pass.
I am afraid about how it feels like having too much responsibility but holding onto the fact that there is always a first time for everything. Am really trying to encourage myself.
Now presently, I've one in this form. Its like destiny chose me to look after my young niece. Sending her to a school 86km away from home was a choice made not because we wanted but foregoing some factors opted to put her there.
As i took her, signing onto all the school documents that i was the parent seemed like a hallucination. Pledging to do whatever it takes so that she may have the best was another reverie. Signing an agreement with her as a promise that she will always keep her grades high was way too much above parenting.
When that one day called visitation day came, i had started preparing for it like two weeks before. Just keeping on checking my mind to ensure that i don't forget despite the fact that i had tests and course works at school too that i needed to prepare for as well.
Trust me that Sunday i didn't sleep. I kept on rolling and rolling wondering about how the day will be like. Being a newbie at school, i was all ears wanting to know how they are treating her.
Cutting it short, i was happy about what i witnessed. I was happy embracing the fact that she was making me proud of her with her good grades so far and extra ordinary reports from the teachers, i was deeply mesmerised.
I think am having a good experience so far overlooking the worries of provision and testing what most parents go through for us to be at school.
I am now persuaded that my heart was meant to touch millions if i should and if i have all that it takes. Am thinking big nowadays, my vision has grown fat increasing to turning pages.
My prayer is has changed, the way i think i was overrated. Focusing on what is helping me. Continuously reminding myself of this scripture that says when i was a babe i used to think like a baby but now am mature so i think like a mature.
Thanks steemit for being my online diary where i could just pour my heart.
Feeling motivated.
