Whenever I draw, I find myself in an evaluative state. What will others say to what came out from under my hand? And I very clearly felt my two problems: I draw for someone and I am under tension all the time, and I can't draw for my own pleasure, as if this is some kind of vice. Basically, I only enjoy the result, and then not always. The process of drawing is filled with tension. Control and prudence. And of course it is impossible to do business for a long time if there is a feeling of pressure.
Dance as if no one is looking at you.
Sing as if no one hears you.
Love as if you have never been betrayed, and live as if the earth is paradise.
© Mark Twain
An antidote to all "ailments". How would I draw if I lived on a desert island (with everything necessary for a comfortable life)? As for dancing, I have made progress in this direction. I haven't danced in public for many years, only at home when I'm alone. And the idea that I should be "some kind" in the process of dancing almost left me. And until recently, I thought the same about drawing. But no. There is a place to grow in depth.
The work is done in oil.
