The phone rang. It was just after midday on Sunday and it was Tantala's mum apologising for having to cancel their session which was due to start at 2pm.
The wife put down her phone, turned to me and said;
"Let's go camping, I've been dying to try out the new 'car tent'."
There were a number of questions, not least of which was, "What 'car-tent'?" But being the wise old soul that I am, I kept quiet. I know not to question her 'Shopee' habit.
Knowing that resistance was futile, I got my bid in early for the location. I was sick of streams and paddling in the lowlands, I wanted to go upwards. At least up a mountain, you generally get some cooler air and a stunning view, and I'd seen the perfect place on the Thai camping facebook page. Atop a mountain over-looking Lumtaknong dam,
We decided to also take Kwan and his Mum as Monday was a holiday and we quickly chucked the 'normal' tent into the back of the car, set the GPS and we were away in just fifteen minutes, knowing we had most likely forgotten something important but had a 200km trup ahead which should get us there about 4pm, just in time to get set-up and enjoy a stunning sunset with a cold beer while I waited for the Leeds game to start...
...Being up a mountain, I was also hoping there would be a good chance of picking up a decent phone signal to stream the game. Clever Nathen!
As we head up towards Korat, the SatNav kept chirping in with flood warnings for NE Thailand. Yes, we'd had a load of rain this year but it was a beautiful day and the weather had been getting gradually better all week. Even as we started on the last 15km trek on an unmade twisting road to the top of the world, the sun was still shining. Admittedly, it was a bit claggy, but the red shale and mud surface was holding nicely and you could see the ruts and holes which were devoid of water.
The track got narrower and narrower and at a point, that Google Maps suggested was just 2km from the campsite, there was a huge hole, created by water running down the hill where the track had once been.
<PHOTO OF DESTROYED ROAD - If the wife hadn't dropped her phone in the mud>
A quick phone call to the campsite and the owner kindly told us not to follow Google Maps because the road was out and gave us the directions for the correct route to take...
After 15 minutes in reverse, I managed to turn around and start heading the 13KM back down the hill...
After a further 30 minutes I found the correct route and started the 15km drive back up the hill...
After a further 30 minutes we finally arrived. The campsite was the last of about 6 campsites and resorts along the ridge. trust me to choose the furthest!
It was now 5pm, we were already starting to lose the light and the previously clear sky had suddenly developed a gradually worsening bout of cloud-rash, but it wasn't too bad and the views were immense. Best of all, I had a full five bars of 4G and the owner sold beer. Even the small toilet block wasn't too grotty and the location was right on the edge of the cliff with the views I'd seen on Facebook. Result!
It took me 30 minutes to set up the tent and discover my wife's car tent was noting more than a bit of nylon that covered the back door, allowing it to stay open, and with nets over the open back windows, let the fresh air flow through. With the two rear sets of seats down, there was plenty of room to lie down full stretch and I was sure I was going to get a great night's sleep, full of beer and dreams of Champions League qualification.
Spirits were high as darkness fell. The barbeque hit full heat and the beer was cold. We watched as lightning punctuated the sky in a complete circle around us, but off in the far distance and as 8pm approached, I was ready for kick-off.
The football wasn't the first thing to kick-off. That would be the wind, swiftly followed by the rain and by eight o'clock, instead of settling down to watch Leeds hammer Palace, the wind was blowing the rain sideways and while Kwan and his Mum dived inside the tent and the wife locked herself in the car, I was left watching the barbeque fizzle out and getting soaked through as I desperately got some extra guys ropes on the tents and tightened everything up. Everything that was outside, stayed outside as I too dived into the car, immediately noticing the wife hadn't bothered winding the windows up in the nets. With the condensation and rain, now we had a soaking car, but after getting changed, I was happier in the car than in the tent.
There was nothing to do but try to pick up the game on a now faltering 4G signal but then the wife's phone went, it was Kwan's mum...
"Kwan leant against the tent and now it's filling with water."
Seriously, who doesn;t know not to touch the inside of a tent when it's raining? Obviously Kwan and his mum.
"I'll tell them to come in here." said the wife.
They didn't need telling twice as I held open the door to let a pair of drowning rats climb inside carrying their bag of clothes. Kwans mother got in the front seat and Kwan piled in the back with us and was soon snoring away under my only dry blanket, oblivious to the storms that were raging both inside and out.
The car rocked all night, and much as I'd like to take the credit, it was the wildest wind I have ever seen in Thailand. We did get a few snatches of sleep but they were few and far between as I peered through the steamed up windows trying to guess when the two girls in the tent next to us, and right on the cliff edge were going to be blown to their deaths.
<VIDEO OF RAGING STORM - If the wife hadn't dropped her phone in the mud>
It finally just about stopped raining as dawn broke, but the wind kept up which was actually a good thing as the ground began to quickly dry a little and as the wind subsided, the damp fog appeared. Fucking mountains...
Video of a bit of wind and fog the next morning.
Of course. it was I who went over to the owners home to buy food and coffee. It was I who then started to try and get all the stuff together and the tent down and hosed in the showers. It was I who wrung out the soaking sleeping bags and sodden air mattress and loaded up the car without incident, but then the wife made her one and only foray to the toilets returning and looking rather crestfallen albeit with a gift.
"Do you think you can fix it baby?" she asked, I'm sure rhetorically, and handed me this muddy, red, former phone.
At this juncture, I can't help but wonder what Doctor Peterson would make of my combination of virtue signalling and subservience?
But I just wanted to go home. Pure stoicism and coffee kept me going!
The views didn't disappoint. Only the weather did that.
We were perched on the edge of a sheer drop. No one seemed to worry though.
The barbeque in all its glory in the few minutes we had to eat before the storm blew up.
A car tent. I aksk you. What sort of shite will she come up with next. There is no floor in it so any manner of not so friendly beasties would be able to escape the weather. I couldn't take my eyes off the hole all night.
I felt sorry for the two girls in this tent right at the edge but it was a really good quality tent and was well pitched, saving them from a gory end if they'd blown over.
Red mud. Everywhere. Two days later. Still everywhere!
Foggy. All we needed was some snow and we'd have had a full house.
Not when it's raining we don't...
Back home, and the cleaning and drying begins.
By 7.30am, tired, damp and stinking like sewer rats, we were on our way home and for once, the wife wasn;t glued to Facebook and Shoppee.
"Didn't you check the weather forecast before we left?" asked the wife, tentatively.
Even she knew it was best not to speak again until we'd got home...
The touristy details...
The Uraicha campsite is in Nakhon Ratchasima province, costs 200Baht, PPPN ($6 USD, £4.50 GBP) There is food and drink available, on site but no electric hook-up. The toilets are simple but clean and the couple who own the place are absolutely lovely and helpful. I would definitely go back if I ever ran out of new campsites to try...and it wasn't the rainy season!
The EXACT location is pinned on the ever wonderful 