For the wife's birthday in August, she had requested a trip up to her beloved Chiang Mai. Normally when we go up there, its for a conference or training course but this time, it was purely for fun. It was her birthday so I couldn't say no really, could I?
I might dedicate a full rant post to why I detest Thailand's second city, way up North but for now, this post will attempt to highlight the positives and in particular, how well signposted these mountainside toilets were.
We were meandering around the Doi Pui (Doi means Mountain in Thai. No idea who Pui is, though!), close to Chiang Mai when we chanced upon a coffee shack by a small ranger station. Sadly it was closed but this gave the wife chance to take some more 'up-a-mountain' selfies.
As I stood admiring the incredible views of the clouds, I wondered whether there maybe a toilet up here. I needn't have worried, a sign on the side of the unmanned ranger station suddenly caught my attention.
It was slightly concerning the arrow was pointing over a near 3000foot sheer drop. Did we have to sling it over a fence a pee over the edge? Did we need to perilously squat on the top bar with our arse hanging off the edge of the mountain.
Surely not. Even here, in the land that health and safety forgot, there was a sign politely asking us not to lean on the fence. As if anyone needed telling. A few rickety twigs at the edge of a sheer cliff calling itself a fence would surely not inspire anyone to sit on it or lean against it. Just as I pondered my options, my eye caught a glimpse of a further sign, a little way down a track leading deep into the forest.
I walked along a sandy track, past a small deserted house, aiming for the next sign, far away in the distance.
Deeper into the woods I went, where the path became a slippery, moss ridden skid hazard, but at least I was still going in the right direction thanks to the excellent signage!
As I marched on, I weirdly started singing:
"If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise..."
Except the state of the toilets was hardly going to be a big surprise, they were going to be rank.
I also began to remember half a joke about a bear shitting in the forest but couldn't, and still can't remember it all which was very odd. I don't even know if actually have bears in Thailand. We have Tigers, but not many and I don't think there are any in this area.
Anyway, on I went...
Finally, I saw the little concrete block, resplendent with its green corrugated iron roof, just a little further down the path which by this time had taken turn downhill towards the valley below.
Now the fact I've lowered my lavatorial standards since living here is obvious by the fact I thought they 'weren't that bad'. Honestly, it could have been a lot worse.
There was a tap and bucket giving you the ability to flush. The white porcelain squatter had no obvious chips or cracks and there was a waste basket for discarded tissue. The door was in one piece and actually closed and locked. There was even a sink bolted on the side for handwashing. I didn't need the alcohol handwash and half a roll of Andrex I'd brought down 'just in-case'!
@worldmappin