I am really sorry to hear you're facing such a tough time right now mate.
Despite being atheist, I am in awe of the strength of your faith.
Instead of thanking God, I'd be cursing and blaming him, looking for an avenue to release my anger and suffering.

You've done so well and come so far.

Keep going, in your own time, in your own rhythm.

Best wishes tonyou and your loved ones always.