Depression drains our energy, hope, motivation and makes it hard to do the things needed to make us feel better. But even if it doesn't seem easy or fast to get out of depression, it's far from impossible.
To get out of depression requires action, but to act while depressed is difficult since the energy levels are so low. The willpower to get going and to the things that can help us out of depression is reduced due to lack of energy.
Even the thought of doing something can be exhausting itself. And that is the evil circle of depression, with the low energy levels makes it hard to act and take action, and the lack of action leads to loosing even more energy. This pattern is the first one that needs to be broken to succeed overcoming depression.
If you ask a person with depression when the last time this person was sad or angry, it's most likely that person will say it's been a long time since these emotions have been felt. «feeling emotions» means to get the body activated instead of only thinking about that you are sad or angry.
How that can be done I will elaborate further down.
Depression occurs rarely out of the blue, but as a response to emotions that were blocked out from a unconscious part of the brain when the depression kicked in.
When the depression kicked in what can have happened in your life or your relations that made you really sad or angry or something triggered other emotions, (happiness, guilt, disgust?).
Reflect over what changes that may have occurred in your life. Usual triggers are conflicts with betrayal from a husband/wife, family, friend, colleagues, partners etc. Illness in someone close to you, death of friends/family, physical damage, or change of health, change of work, moving, new school, marriage, pregnancy etc.
Depression were released by a trigger, an event or something that happened in a relation you appreciated that triggered strong emotions in you that you still hold to this day even the depressive mechanism put a lid on those emotions. This is the lid that now makes you depressed as you no longer get the energy which the emotions used to give you.
The reflection above can have pushed you on the track to changes that have happened in your life and in your relations that you probably didn't accept and have worked trough. Someone who disappointed you or did you something wrong, left you, betrayed you or who treated you bad in the event when depression started to take place.
Sit down and close your eyes and make sure you don't have any distractions, (tv, music, phones or people) and try to visualize in your mind a specific situation with a given person. What is said and done? Try to say this inside. What kind of emotions in you is starting to awake towards this person? Notice the body and changes that happens in the body as you continue to visualize this scenario. What do you want to say or do to this person? Let the imagination run wild and don't censor yourself. Talk directly to this person in your mind and don't be afraid that this scenario can be dramatic.
The main challenge will be to visualize regularly over a couple of minutes since the brain want to distract itself from this task by thinking of other things. Then it's important to pull the attention back to this scenario even if your brain wants to resist and run wild. It's by running past this resistance that our emotions in our body will be activated again and give you back your energy.
Our emotions can be compared to a wave which has a start, a middle, a top and an ending to calm it down. It's only one portion of energy in the emotion wave, and if you manage to «ride the wave» or max out the emotion that comes to you, that is a good thing. This can be done by allowing yourself when visualizing even if the body becomes restless and activated. Allow to see where the visualization will take you without trying to control it.
This visualization and maxing out the underlying emotions is something that has to be done multiple times to get your energy levels up again. This is luckily something that can be done home on the couch.
Feeling exhausted from physical activity may cause you to feel frustration, anger, sadness or other emotions. This is a good thing! And allow to yourself to do this activity even if the emotions bubble up to the surface. Ride the wave!
All or nothing thinking. The depressed tend to look at things black or white. Thoughts like «nothing matters», «everything is hopeless» or «it's always gonna be like this» makes you passive.
Worries. This is thinking about the worst case scenario about what the future holds. Worries are hypothetical thoughts and not a reality!
Being passive. Being depressed often gives up or avoid situations where they have to take responsibility.
Perfectionism. If things don't go exactly as planned it doesn't need to happen at all.
Self-criticism. Bashing down on oneself and self doubt
The victim-role. Thinking that what happens is not up to them, giving up the steering wheel, and not making choices.
Often the depressed can have multiple defense mechanism that holds the depression and the energy levels low. It can be a good tool to be aware of this,
Depression is an all in one spin. This includes the way one look at oneself, situations or expectations of the future. It''s impossible to get out of this evil circle by just thinking positive thoughts. The mind has to be trained to observe the thoughts that come in instead of diving into them, an congratulate oneself when a you find a destructive pattern, and switch out the negative with more balanced thoughts. Ask yourself if you would said what you are saying to yourself to someone else. If the answer is NO, then that is a indication that you are being to hard on yourself.
Even if you can force yourself to have fun, you can choose to do things that gave you happiness and purpose before. Take up and old hobby or sport you used to like, express yourself creatively trough music, art or writing, go out with friends, in nature or watch a football game. Read a god book, watch a good movie, take a bath, listen to music and do something spontaneous instead of lying home.
Isolation and loneliness will only make the depression worse. So it's important to keep in touch with other even if you are depressed. This sounds much easier than it is, since it's in the nature of the depressions to avoid reaching out for support and friendship. The thought of taking contact with close friends or family can be terrifying and overwhelming. It's easy to think you are to exhausted to be social after you feel the guilt of having ignored relation for a long time. Bur remind yourself that this is just the depression talking. The people that love you will care for you and want to help. Even if it feels best to just stay at home in the couch alone. But that will only lead you back into the rabbit hole.
