In 1989 I was still a Firefighter for the City of Edmonton and thought I knew a lot about myself and the world - ego frequently convinces us that we know more than we think we do. Having done the firefighting job for almost ten years, I was close to being a lifer. Things changed in 1989, 3 years after my mother died, and I became obsessed with traveling to Nicaragua to see for myself what was going on there. As usual, my conscious intention for the trip was only the tip of the ice-berg; the real journey was my inner transformation as I witnessed people who had nothing sharing everything with their neighbours, and even sharing generously with strangers like myself.
I was there to witness the election between Daniel Ortega and the Sandinista Party as they came up against Violetta Chamorro and the UNO Party. A time of dramatic energy in this Central American country that had been demonized and exploited for a century. Somehow, in all this time, the spirit of the Nicaraguense became stronger and stronger against insurmountable odds until they triumphed and ousted Anastasio Somoza, a puppet for the United States.
My realizations began with the knowledge that our reality is shaped by the people who control the stories we live within. Noam Chomsky, a favourite hero, has talked about this concept in his book, "Manufacturing Consent", and nowadays people are commonly aware of creating reality with thought and intention. At 38 yo, I was beginning to see the insidiousness of my own unconscious attitudes and behaviours. The cliff I had stepped off in going from a secure job as a firefighter to the inspired insecurity of making a documentary film in Nicaragua now reveals how critical it was to make a life change. The process of breaking free from social conditioning has been a messy one and there have been many mistakes and hurt feelings along the way. To anyone who assisted my growth through the densest and least compassionate periods .... I am very very sorry, but also very very thankful to you.
