I went into film photography having the perception that there was no greater injustice to the dated technology than to purchase a camera and leave it to accumulate dust in a room as the months went by. To shoot film was to experience photography in its purest form: not knowing how your roll of film may turn out in the end. Being limited to 36 or less photographs at a time, thus choosing your subjects wisely and ultimately attempting to be as creative as possible with them.
I loved it, and I still do, but I've never really been that motivated to shoot things around the United Kingdom. I find it a dull, soulless wasteland of which is void of any colour and life. While some of my favourite photographs have been taken here, the best ones were taken elsewhere.
When the pandemic started and we were all reduced to being prisoners of our own homes, I had no choice but to stop the photography. There'd come the odd film shoot I'd attend for work during that time, and that was the only motivation to pick up the camera. Then came the conclusion of my studies in a course I did for two years, and my time was even more limited. I hate to admit it, but I reduced my camera to the very thing I told myself nobody should do: allow it to become a carrier of dust.
I feel immense guilt having reduced this tool to a still life of dust accumulation, of which is significantly older than I am, no longer in production, almost a relic of an era long gone. Immense guilt having ignored a hobby of mine that gave me a lot of peace: roaming streets and seeing the world with a different perspective and capturing it. And with the pandemic easing, travel limitations cooling off, I have decided that the time for me to leave the UK is fast approaching.
When that time comes, my Canon AE-1 will certainly follow. But until then, all I really have are these photographs to share. I look forward to having that excitement again, of not knowing or even remembering what sits on the roll of film I am to get developed. I look forward to being more nomadic and roaming unknown streets and searching for something new to capture and share with the world, to test my own creativity and pursue growth.
Growth is what photography always was for me: a reason to get out, see, and interact with the world. Without the camera, I'd never have the reason to do so. It was and is a driving force in my motivation. I miss it.
