Falling in love and getting married is easy but the difficult part is maintaining this relationship for life long. My son sometime back asked me this question that why does his generation have so many failed marriages. The one answer that came to me instantly was the tolerance towards each other. As years go by in marriage, we start taking our partners for granted, all those things that we did to please each other becomes a past. Romance goes off from the picture and boredom sets in. Becomes a regular affair of doing the same activities every day.
Maintaining the relationship of marriage is a lifelong affair, it's like you have to keep falling in love with the same person again and again, else you will start falling out of marriage and find for love outside of the marriage. All new relationships in the beginning will bring spark in your eyes, but as time goes by, the same boredom routine wills set with the new relationship also. In that case, are we going to go an find another partner?
My Son tells me, why do we have to keep compromising in marriage. I am an old school, and my belief is that a marriage will never work without compromises. When 2 different people come together, there is definitely going to be difference of opinion over matters and if both the partners sit with ego then there is only going to be fights and if that continues for long, soon the love between them will fade away and that's the end of the story. And after that if they find a new partner, what is the assurance that the same thing will not happen again.
Unless it's an abusive marriage, I do not believe in breaking the relationship for lack of understanding towards each other, because that can easily be worked up on. These days the women empowerment things are also getting into a wrong direction at times. Women empowerment does not mean that you cannot compromise in a marriage. In the name of empowerment, wrong messages are spread in the society. Both partners are equal in the marriage but there are times when either one has to understand and give in, so there should not be any ego in that for the male or the female to come ahead and say sorry or just let it go.
As a couple we need to find new ways to keep the spark in the marriage. Have open conversations about each other's likes and dislikes. At 30 or 60 do not forget to give those little surprises to your partner. Again, whatever age you are, spend quality time with each other. One of my friends tells me that she has nothing to talk with her husband, and there is no common ground left between them. And theirs's is a love marriage. I tell her bring those things back in her life which were there 15 years back and what brought them together. She tells me that's not possible because they have moved on from that age. I do not agree to that. They had some common things which brought them together so why can't they rekindle their relationships with their same common grounds.
In my marriage, we have made this as a rule for ourself, that one day we will spend out of home and doing things that we both enjoy together, which is like we go for a movie, or we go for a nice meal, or any other activity, and it's just 2 of us. Most of the times it is movies and we enjoy that. It gives us a break from the daily routine, we enjoy each other's company and we have our entertainment time. That's true that with years we have less and less to talk with each other, but we try and share everything that happens during the day.
Marriage is never easy, though Love is the most beautiful relationship.
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