The story continues
I stayed for two and a half months, I underwent multiple surgeries one day the doctor came to me and he said, well I heard that you wanted to be an artist but you ended up being a housewife I have a bad news for you, you won't be able to paint again, because your wrist and and your arms are so deformed and so you won't be able to hold a pen again.
Next day doctor came to me and said, your spine injury is so bad, you won't be able to walk again. Because of your spine injury and the fixation that you have in your back you won't be able to give birth to a child again. That day I was devastated I asked my mother "why me?".
That is where I started to question my existence, that why am I even alive? and that is where I realized that words have the power to heal the soul. My mom said to me " This too shall pass " God has a greater plans for you I don't know what it is, but he surely has and in all that distress and grief somehow or the other those words were magical that they kept me going. One day I asked my brothers, I know I have a deformed hand but I'm tired of looking at these white walls in the hospital and wearing these white scrubs. I'm getting tired of this, I want to add more colors to my life I want to do something, bring me some colors bring me some small canvas, I want to paint so the very first painting I made was, on my dead bed were I painted for the very first time it was not just an art piece or just my passion it was my therapy.
I was discharged and I went back home I realized that I had developed a lot of pressure ulcers on my back and on my hip bone, I was unable to sit, there a lot of infections in my body, a lot of allergies so the doctors wanted me me to lie down on bed straight for not months for not one year for two years I was bedridden confined in that room, looking outside the windows listen to the birds chirping and thinking maybe there will be a time when we'll be going out, with the family and enjoying the nature. That was the time where I realized how lucky people are that is where I realized, the day I, I'm going to sit I, I'm going to share this pain with everyone to make them realized how blessed they are and they don't even consider themselves lucky, that day I decided, that I, I'm going to fight my fears.
We all have our fears, fear of unknown, fear of losing people, fear of losing health and money. We want to excel in career, we want to become famous, we want to get money, we are scared all the time so I wrote down one by one all those fears and I decided that I'm going to overcome these fear one at a time. ## <
You know what was my biggest fear? Divorce, I was trying to cling unto this person who didn't want me anymore, but I said no I have to make it work but the day I decided that this is nothing but my fear I liberated myself by setting him free and I made myself emotionally so strong that the day I got the news that he is getting married I sent him a text that I, I'm so happy for you and I wish you all the best and he knows that I pray for him today.
Number two was, I won't be able to be a mother again and that was quite devastating for me but then I realized that there so many children in the world all they want is acceptance so there's no point in crying just go and adopt one and that's what I did. People think that they will not be accepted by other people because we in the world of perfect people are imperfect. So I decided that instead of starting an NGO for disability awareness which I know will not help anyone I started to appear more in public. I started to paint, I decided that I'm going to join the national TV as an anchor person and I've been doing a lot of shows for the last three years I become the national goodwill ambassador for UN women and now I speak for the right
women, children. We talk about inclusion, diversity, gender equality which is a must. Every time I go in public I always smile people ask me don't I get tired of smiling all the time? What's the secret? I always say one thing that I have stopped worrying about the things I have lost, the people that I've lost, things and people who are meant to be with me are with me and sometimes somebody's absence makes you a better person, cherish their absence it's always a blessing in disguise live your life fully, accept yourself the way you are be kind to yourself, be kind to yourself, I repeat be kind to yourself and on then you can be kind to others. Love yourself and spend that love, Life will be hard, there will be turmoils there will be trials but that will only make you stronger. So when you accept yourself the way you are the world recognizes you. It all starts from within.
