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Daily Dirty Jokes
@mudpuddle
46
The best dirty jokes!
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http://www.steemit.com/@mudpuddle
Created
2017-12-27 15:20
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mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-11 14:47
3 inches
3 inches Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah? A: Only 3 inches.
$ 0.000
1
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-10 12:33
Fart
Fart Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
$ 0.000
2
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-09 10:21
Government Affair
Government Affair At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman,
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-07 13:35
One Night
One Night Mr. Wilson comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck. "I have great news. I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today,
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-05 23:48
Three Babies
Three Babies Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here." The second one says, "I
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-05 00:02
Dildo
Dildo A man is working a a dldo store, when a brunette walks in. She asks him how much for the black dldo? He replies $50 for the black one, $50 for the white one. She leaves without purchasing anything.
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-04 11:27
Getting Ready
Getting Ready A man was getting ready to close his bar for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to him, "This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!"
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-03 14:56
Skillful
Skillful Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-02 10:25
Two Loving Parents
Two Loving Parents One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard". Their son walked in and said
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-01 10:35
Multi Task
Multi Task Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
mudpuddle
funny
2018-07-31 12:39
Girlfriend's House
Girlfriend's House A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriends house and the girlfriend said to her mom, "Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room" and the mom says, "Ok
mudpuddle
funny
2018-07-28 22:14
Elevator
Elevator A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?” The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly
mudpuddle
funny
2018-07-28 10:44
JED
JED A man named Jed went hunting near the border of Alabama and Georgia. When he was going back to his truck, a game warden came up to him and asked him what he had in the sack. "Three rabbits,"
mudpuddle
funny
2018-07-27 10:23
Two Old Women
Two Old Women Two older women were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued
mudpuddle
funny
2018-07-26 10:11
Hunting
Hunting A man named Jed went hunting near the border of Alabama and Georgia. When he was going back to his truck, a game warden came up to him and asked him what he had in the sack. "Three rabbits,"
mudpuddle
funny
2018-07-25 10:11
Caught
Caught My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing? Apparently "heating your dinner" wasn't a good answer.
mudpuddle
funny
2018-07-24 11:02
Divorce
Divorce A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child.
mudpuddle
funny
2018-07-23 11:55
First Blowjob
First Blowjob Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out.
mudpuddle
funny
2018-07-21 22:50
Sperm Cells
Sperm Cells Teacher: And therefore, sperm cells are made up of glucose. Student: So you're saying that sperm has sugar in it? Teacher: Technically. Yes. Student: But it doesn't even taste like that...
mudpuddle
funny
2018-07-20 12:14
Condoms
Condoms A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?" She responds, "No sir, but do you
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