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Daily Dirty Jokes
@mudpuddle
46
The best dirty jokes!
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steemit
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http://www.steemit.com/@mudpuddle
Created
2017-12-27 15:20
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mudpuddle
funny
8y
Son has VD
Son has VD “Doc, I think my son has VD,” a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.” “Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the medic soothed, “Get him
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mudpuddle
funny
8y
Sixth Grade
Sixth Grade Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so
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mudpuddle
funny
8y
A Doctor
A Doctor A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Rich Man
Rich Man Poor man, "What did you get your wife for her wedding anniversery?" Rich man, "I got her a pink farrari and a diamond ring." Poor man, "What made you choose those gifts?"
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Weight Loss
Weight Loss There guy goes to a weight loss clinic and says he needs to lose 20 lbs. The receptionist sends him upstairs, where he finds a beautiful naked woman with a sign that says "If you catch
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Wet
Wet Girl: Baby im wet. Boy: Want a paper towel? Girl: No, i want more then that ;) Boy: Want 2 paper towels? Girl: No, baby i want sumthing big and round ;) Boy: Damn you want the whole roll?
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Watching TV
Watching TV While watching TV with his wife, a man tosses peanuts into the air and catches them in his mouth. Just as he throws another peanut into the air, the front door opens, causing him to turn his
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Racehorse
Racehorse I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
mudpuddle
funny
8y
A Lady
A Lady She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Mr. Bean & Mr. Rabbit
Mr. Bean & Mr. Rabbit Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Pregnant Wife
Pregnant Wife The doctor looked her over and told them it would be a rather difficult delivery. He offered to let the couple try an experimental procedure. The woman would be connected to a machine that
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Italian Guy
Italian Guy While at his favorite bar, he manages to attract one rather attractive looking blonde. So they’re back at his place, and sure enough, they go at it. After a long while… He climaxes loudly.
mudpuddle
funny
8y
A Man
A Man A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn comes in to take a piss. Well, the man cant help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised,
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Walking Home
Walking Home Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds
mudpuddle
funny
8y
New Secretary
New Secretary The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, “Oh, sir, did
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Crush
Crush I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Naked Woman
Naked Woman A total naked woman rushed in a taxi. The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, "Why are you staring at me that way, haven't you ever seen
mudpuddle
funny
8y
One Day
One Day One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
mudpuddle
funny
8y
2 Cowboys
2 Cowboys 1 cowboy says "I like the rodeo position !" "I haven't heard of that ... " says the other cowboy, "what is it ?" "Well get your girlfriend down on all fours
mudpuddle
funny
8y
Talking
Talking "Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?" "No, what?" "Yea, I figured you were
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