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Daily Dirty Jokes
@mudpuddle
46
The best dirty jokes!
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steemit
Website
http://www.steemit.com/@mudpuddle
Created
2017-12-27 15:20
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mudpuddle
funny
2018-09-01 22:23
Officer
Officer Me: Can I call an officer a pussy? Cop: No. Me: Can I call a pussy 'officer?' Cop: I guess you could... Me: Goodnight, officer
$ 0.000
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mudpuddle
funny
2018-09-01 11:09
TREE
TREE Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother:
$ 0.000
2
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-31 10:30
Santa's Lap
Santa's Lap A little boy about nine or ten, was siting on Santa's lap. Santa pointed his finger in the boys face, and said, " George I know what you want for Christmas! A T-O-Y." "Nope!"
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-30 11:41
Tattoed
Tattoed A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis. He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-29 11:33
Doctors Office
Doctors Office A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-28 11:48
4 Catholics
4 Catholics Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'" The second Catholic
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-27 02:27
Kicked Out
Kicked Out Q: Why was Raggedy Ann kicked out of the toybox? A: Because she sat on Pinnochio's face and told him to lie!
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-25 23:40
3 Boys
3 Boys Teacher and her 3 boy students: Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.” Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-25 12:09
A Spaceship
A Spaceship One day, a space ship landed in a farmer’s field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-24 11:10
A Man
A Man A man walks into his office box on a Monday morning. He checks his e-mails and sees one from his neighbor. it reads, "Do you have any naked photos of your wife?" Outraged the man replies,
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-23 11:41
Popular Girl
Popular Girl A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-22 10:34
Great News
Great News Mr. Wilson comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck. "I have great news. I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today,
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-21 02:07
Office Box
Office Box A man walks into his office box on a Monday morning. He checks his e-mails and sees one from his neighbor. it reads, "Do you have any naked photos of your wife?" Outraged the man replies,
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-19 00:07
Family
Family A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and he says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-18 10:52
Little Girl
Little Girl A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-17 12:20
Prostitute
Prostitute Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-16 11:00
Elevator
Elevator A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-15 12:11
Making Love
Making Love Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-14 10:47
Making Love
Making Love Q: What are three words you dead the most while making love? A: "Honey, I'm home."
mudpuddle
funny
2018-08-12 00:32
Sperm Door
Sperm Door A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says, "But sir, its just a sperm bank!"
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