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Daily Dirty Jokes
@mudpuddle
46
The best dirty jokes!
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steemit
Website
http://www.steemit.com/@mudpuddle
Created
2017-12-27 15:20
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mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-15 10:08
Trick or Treat
Trick or Treat - You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. You
$ 0.000
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1
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-13 23:13
Old Woman
Old Woman She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips
$ 0.000
3
1
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-13 10:11
Virgin
Virgin On their wedding night, he is on fire, and wants some dirty fun so he gets naked, jumps into bed. "Dan, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the dinner table." So, Dan folds
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-12 10:08
Susan's mother
Susan's mother "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-11 09:58
2 Married Buddies
2 Married Buddies Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-10 10:11
Archaeologist
Archaeologist How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-09 09:59
4 Reasons
4 Reasons 4 reasons why I curse Because I fucking want to. Because I fucking can. Because I don't give a fuck. Because my mom isn't around.
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-08 10:08
Crocodile
Crocodile An Canadian girl walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if she will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for fifteen seconds
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-06 23:04
Chicken Farmer
Chicken Farmer A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-06 10:31
Gay Guy
Gay Guy I could never fight a gay guy. I don't know how to start. "I'm gonna beat your ass... I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up... no, I mean I'm stick my foot so far up your ass.. no, not like that, I
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-05 10:15
Dad & GF
Dad & GF My dad helping me find a gf Dad: What do you want most in a woman? Me: My dick. Grounded and high fived
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-04 10:49
2 Married
2 Married Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-03 09:04
3 People
3 People Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-02 10:51
Australian Guy
Australian Guy An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds
mudpuddle
funny
2018-10-01 10:40
Hour Passed
Hour Passed Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him
mudpuddle
funny
2018-09-29 23:15
2 Aliens
2 Aliens Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling.
mudpuddle
funny
2018-09-29 10:37
2 Doctors
2 Doctors Two doctors are having sx, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon, you washed your hands before and after." She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel
mudpuddle
funny
2018-09-28 10:59
Zoo
Zoo A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her,
mudpuddle
funny
2018-09-27 10:32
!
Downvoted by users, Reveal content
Navy
Navy A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain
mudpuddle
funny
2018-09-25 11:50
Dreaming
Dreaming Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush. Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit. Friend: Ok I can see it... Me: She walks into your room and
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