I can still hear the loudness of laughter. I can still feel the sweetest feeling. I can still remember how happy it was back then. I can indeed tell what happened in the past. Although all of it is just yesterday. Today's world changes everything so it's hard for me to feel it again.
The jolly place that has never been abandoned is still there. The bearer of a smile doesn't fade but it's not visible anymore. The value of each word is understandable but it contains no meaning anymore. There's no ghost town but people consider it one. Simply because only the sound of blowing wind is making a noise.
No matter where you look to search for that feeling. No matter how you force it to happen. It's not possible because every action you make will always have a restriction. The places to go are limited. The "used to" activities are now being prohibited. "Avoid the group of people. Make sure to have a social distance outside." That's how the world treats us like prisoners even though we don't stay inside the cell.
I don't know if I'm being anxious now. Why do I see myself from yesterday? Perhaps I'm just desperate to feel that feeling again. I miss those times where morning suddenly changed to evening. Where someone cried but all of a sudden laughed. Where the conversation never stopped because they were all nonsense. I miss that feeling where everything feels free.
I can't still move on because I refused to. Why would I accept it when it's just hurting me? It's just better to be like this rather than fooling myself to believe that this is the world now. I don't care if I keep on living from the past when I found myself smiling.
Thank you for reading
images are mine
d' dreamboy,
