Seeing the numbers of infected people in our region. I want to fight it and don't let it affects me that much. I'm always doing exercises every morning. Eating delicious food and sometimes taking vitamins c. I don't know but I'm a coward maybe. I'm always afraid about life that will end with an instant.
I have a bad attitude of not telling people what I really feel. I'm always shy to tell them and I don't want to tell other people. Especially my love one so that they won't worry that much about me. There's some part of me that I really want to tell them but just couldn't. I want to cry until sober but there's a part of me that wouldn't want to.
Now, because of this virus. I can't go home even if it's not that far. You know what makes it more hard for me is this loneliness. This loneliness pushes me all the time to be afraid. It is the reason why sometimes I felt very sad. I'm afraid that what if something's happen to me but I can't see my family anymore. What will they feel after knowing that if ever. God, I'm afraid not just myself but also for those who loves me. I don't want them to feel sad. Maybe it will be fine when I'm gone because I will forget it after. How about those who remains when I left. I don't want to think of it. I want to cry just by thinking of it.
I'm really afraid this time. Sometimes when I fall asleep I woke up time to time. I was afraid what will happen to me while sleeping or what will happen to me by tomorrow. I hate sleeping time because sometimes it's betraying us if we fall asleep. You're feeling good when you slept last night but when you wake up something's happening already.
I'm a dreamboy, mrnightmare89 who thinks being alone is the best. Well, when you're alone there's no one to worry and there's no one will be worried because of you. But even so, I'm still afraid to be alone. Just like now, I'm far from my family, friends and my love. I'm starting to be afraid staying in a place that is near from the pandemic.
image is mine
huawei p8
d' dreamboy,
