The Silent Struggle of Men Emotions and Societal Expectations

_{> Estimated reading time: 2-3 minutes}

_{Societal expectations often create a silent struggle for mens emotions.} The comedian 'Chris Rock' said: Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally but a man is only loved under the condition that he provides something. That statement may sound harsh, but if we are honest with ourselves, there is a lot of truth in it.

Who this is for
This post is a response to hive learners prompt of the week: Big Boys Don't Cry. This post talks about the complex societal expectations placed on men regarding expressing emotions, and how these expectations impact relationships and personal well-being.

CONTENT MAP
[01] The Unconditional Love Myth
[02] Society's Stance on Male Vulnerability
[03] Emotional Honesty in Relationships
[04] A Balanced Approach to Male Emotions
[05] Rising Above: From Crying to Conquering

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The Unconditional Love Myth

These days, many speakers especially women talk about how they wish men open up more and talk about their feelings and to even cry when life becomes too overwhelming for them. It might sound like healthy advise. Afterall men are also human beings that feel pain, pressure, fear and even disappointment. Life throws everyone curve balls and even the toughest of men feel theses emotions.

Society's Stance on Male Vulnerability

However it's not that simple. The world does not treat men gently when they break down. A man who constantly complains or shows helplessness is often not taken seriously. How a man reacts to problems is what fuels his masculinity and is what makes you respected as a man. Another man would rather try to lift and help a struggling man than a man that whines and cries about his situation. Society is more willing to help a man who is fighting than a man who has given up.

Emotional Honesty in Relationships

The same applies in relationships. A lot of women say they want their man to be more emotionally open to them, but at the same time, they also want a man who can lead, protect, and stay calm under pressure. A woman's psychology is also looking for and attracted to a leader. As much as she wants a man to show vulnerability, she doesn't want someone that cries and can't handle his problems. It kills attraction. The attraction being killed isn't necessarily linked to emotions being bad but stability is still very important.

A Balanced Approach to Male Emotions

So how would I handle seeing a grown man cry because of what he is going through? First, I definitely would not mock him or look down on him. Everyone reaches a breaking point sometimes in their life and crying could just pour out uncontrollably. Even I claiming Mr macho man LOL has been in a point where I almost got tired of life and maybe even depressed. I almost gave up and decided to just go with the flow instead of taking charge to set things right in my life.

Rising Above: From Crying to Conquering

So as a fellow man, I won't disregard his feelings and struggle, but would respect him more if, after expressing his pain, he also shows a desire to stand back up and solve his problems. Crying should not be the end of the story; it should be part of the healing process. In my opinion, men should be allowed to express emotions, but they must also remember that the world still expects responsibility from them. Balance is key. A man can acknowledge pain without drowning or living in it. He can talk about his struggles without becoming a cry baby about it. As a senior man, don't suck on your problems. Big boys may cry, but big men must also rise.

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✨ Hive Learners Prompt Week 203 Episode 02: BIG BOYS DON’T CRY

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Bonus insight

For further reading into male emotional intelligence, you could read "The Mask of Masculinity" by Lewis Howes, it dives into societal pressures and authentic living for men.

The Man