"What is self respect & how do you nurture it?"
I'm going to write a few words about this, but really put my thoughts down in a DTube Video as a part of my effort to #DTubedaily!
@eco-alex just put up this morning (yeah I missed the deadline! Vacation!) to read some of the other passengers' responses. They are great!The first thing that comes up for me when I ask myself this question is:
Respect is all about boundaries and honoring each other - it is the dance between personal autonomy & not treading on others while heeding that small voice inside.
The reason I bring up Listening to self as a key component is because when we respect ourselves, we retain confidence and form a habit of taking care of ourselves by prioritizing ourselves. I am not talking in a selfish way, where our self-directed actions disrespect another or even totally disregard our relations, but in giving space to our inner voice so that we live from our place of truth.
Wilder insisted on coming on our morning walk!
We know what we're worth and we act from that place of valuing self. Cool enough, this means that we also extend that understanding of inherent worth to others with whom we interact. When we know our worth, we realize that we interact each day with other autonomous beings who are worthy of this same starting point.
Essentially, in a few words, it's caring for something and tending it to help it grow.
How do we do this with self respect?
Well, I think we take an honest look at currently where we're at with our self respect.
Are we walking with self respect?
Do we allow our voice to be "trumped over" by other voices thereby compromising our truth and weakening our inner person and our stand in the world?
Do we stand up for what we know to be right or do we let it slide?
Are we concerned with taking care of ourselves and do our actions reflect that?
There are many other ways our self respect comes into play in our daily lives and these are only a few examples, but there is the idea of maintenance (taking care of that which is already basically organized and strong) and shoring up where we aren't strong. When we look honestly at ourselves or our life, we can see where we need work. Nurturing these soft spots is one way we can strengthen ourselves.
When I was in my 20s, I was learning a lot about boundaries and self respect. Certain people came into my life to help me work on this- lol! It was not easy at all and I met some crazy characters who slipped in through my cracks and disrespected me, helping me to see where I was weak or didn't value myself very much. Those weren't easy lessons and I remember feeling off balance and uncentered many times. The thing is, we usually can't strengthen or nurture our self respect until we bounce off of other people and know where we need work!
It's easy to have a certain idea of yourself in isolation, but it's really when we get in the flow that we see how we can nurture ourselves a bit. For me, it came down to trusting myself and valuing my voice, my starting place.
That gave me a place to start from and to work with. It took time, but through playing with that and interacting with others, I learned to use my voice in apt ways and take no shit! Now I can "see certain things coming" and know to steer clear of situations where people disrespect me. Or if I find myself in a place like that, I can know that I don't need it- I already learned that lesson.
