I apologize for making assumptions on your part. I was speaking to the greater audience more than just to you individually.

Actually I was raised as a christian. I understand the bible very well. I even memorized the entire book of James when I was 16.

I was to go door to door selling literature as a colporteur.

I left the church when I realised I could not live up to the many expectations put on me by the church.

Yes, our relationship with Jesus is personal. And I don't see Jesus as a person or a personage but a symbol in consciousness necessary to keep the wheels turning. There is no actual proof of his existence.

Greater lies have been told and maintained for the purposes of population control by the power holders.

I am still an avid discoverer and student of reality - Here's an article I just wrote, possibly inspired by our discussion here - https://steemit.com/lifepolitics/@montycashmusic/reflections-a-kingdom-divided-against-itself-will-fall