Pacifiers are like hair ties and Chapstick. You start out with 372 and by the time a week has gone by, you only have one. If you're lucky. To whatever demon that decided to collect these things as a hobby, I plead. I want them back. Name your ransom and I'll pay the price because I'll be damned if I make another Target trip at 11 pm. In fact, I only want the pacifiers because oompa only knows it's hard enough to get a baby to sleep without holding him. Throw me a bone... or a pacifier. Or Chapstick. Or my purple hair tie.
