1 of many things.
Last year, I couldn't recognize my own apartment.
I couldn't see properly. Eat anything, digest anything. People thought I was crazy (but I've contacted 200+ people with very similar and in some cases identical and even worse symptoms).
My brain was telling me to kill myself. Water fasting saved my life. And a place, I will mention later. I will explain (in brief, as simply as I can) what caused this, and more importantly what I did and am doing to get out of it. Suffice it to say I lost an entire year in 2017 due to a hair med (finasteride is also used for BPH in older men). Also, I lost 2008 because of Effexor XR.
It is genetic mutations, bad luck, and drug marketing, ignorant doctors, and stupid society that has caused this. Talked at least 3 kids and men my age out of suicide recently. Anyways, It's hard writing about all this stuff, but yeah. That's part of the reason I'm so aggressive.
That and I was betrayed by my best friends at 20-22... Almost cost me my life.
More later. I'm still here (undisclosed location). I've come a long long way from 20 years old, but life can change in an instant. Financially, relationally, and health wise. It can change overnight from good but difficult to feeling impossible to carry on living. I've been there, and the reverse a bit too. I hope this year (it was my bday recently) is better than all the yrs before this. I've had fun, made some good friends, and have travelled, learned a lot... this and that, but I struggled a lot.
I know a ton and have great work ethic and am very ambitious.... but I am taking it a bit easy, because I was bedridden like 14-16 weeks ago. I won't update too much on where I am in healing, bc it's personal. And after all that, I still have to contend with a dual diagnosis including severe ADHD (probably more severe than 99.99% of people -- as seen by PhD's, MD's, and Mood Disorder experts (world experts some of them, at one of the best teaching hospitals in Canada). I won't be so clear with locations and names of ppl in some stories, because I am protecting myself and others, as well.... I have enemies old and new, unfortunately. I hope people can see the positive in things I say here, and link to. And also I hope if anyone is in a similar situation caused by meds, drugs, alcohol, psyche issues, anxiety, depression, side effects to things like cancer drugs, etc... they know they aren't alone. I've seen it all in a sense. And it can always get worse... I knew this all ten yrs ago, but temporarily was caught between a rock and a hard place, and I violated my own rules... and nearly died bc of it. Family and friends see I am getting better week-to-week and monthly now... but there's still a ways to go. Anyways, that's all for now.
If I went to further school - it's an MBA or Law... but I'm not going unless I can fund it. And I can get good jobs rite now, but I am waiting till I am at my healthiest. Also, I am trying my best to treat a pretty bad condition (outside of post drug disorders) without medication.
Basically... my suicide percentage was like 30-40% acc to stats... add PFS... add other things, living in a miserable city... probably super high. But, I'm not doing what society and stats and medicine and doctors and family and friends and girls and schools and haters and whoever tf wants me to do, I'm doing me.
I got job offers recently in various cities, including 2 good ones (but not perfect) in my main city, and 1 in my "dream city", but I am not rushing things. For now I am my own STARTUP company. It takes time, resilience, focus, dedication, and hard work.
