It's 12.00am as I write this.
The house is quiet and everyone around me is asleep and I just woke up with so many things wandering through my mind. It's one of those nights where everything feels louder in my head than in real life. And I have been thinking, there are somethings I have never told anyone about. Not my friends, not my family , not even to people that think they know me well. Not because I don't know what to say but because I believe that "somethings are better left unsaid", not because I don't know what to say but because I didn't just know how to put it in words. I have held so many words back, swallowed some words I once wanted to say and the "I'm sorry" I never said too. There are some friends I think about sometimes even though we're no longer in touch. The friendship that just faded without real reason.
Before, i used to think that I need to explain everything, but I've learned something, not everything need to be spoken, it's not because they don't matter but because saying them sometimes reopens door you already tried to close.
Some people also left without explanation, some answers never arrived either. So I'm learning to sit with it. Yes, I have also accepted that not everything needs reaction and not every word need a response. Most times peace means letting things stay the way they are, even if you still think about them at night, it's best to let them be, and it's okay.
