Last Friday October 22 was my birthday, my first 44th, hahaha!, if I reach the second 44 it would be a privilege. My maternal grandmother died at the age of 99, she was a very long-lived person, her mind was active and conscious until the end....
I can say that at this stage of my life I feel happy, I live joyful, I have achieved part of my dreams and what I have not achieved so far is in process..... but I also feel very reflective, I can't say if it is because of my age or because now I am at home more (since I am taking care of my two little ones, my 3 year old prince and my 7 month old princess), I look at myself in a less critical and more compassionate way, I try to understand myself a little more and not to reproach myself so much for my defects, but to change proactively but from the love of myself.
Many times we do not realize it, but it happens that we can unintentionally treat ourselves badly, and this practice damages our self-esteem, our self-worth, our self-respect, and all this is manifested in our dealings with other people. I always have in mind a phrase that my mother told me when I was 22 years old: "Marlyn, people will treat you as you allow them to", I mean I honestly do not know why she told me that, I do not know what she saw, but it was a very wise phrase, and I have corroborated it over the years, both at work and in my personal life.
Going back to the subject of my 44 years... I feel I am about 22 years old, I live dreaming, I make plans with my family, I make plans at work, I make personal plans... There are so many things I still want to achieve... I feel I am in the middle of my life, at least I hope it is something like that, because my children are small and I want to be here to accompany them in their growth, to support them in their projects, to console them in their sadness, to dream with them...
I celebrated my life on Friday, but I also celebrate it today, because being alive is a wonderful gift from God, He is also in my projects, with God everything, without Him nothing.
I live each day, and I try to do it conscious that I am alive, that my children are small and this is a stage of their lives that will not return, I laugh at their antics, I enjoy their spontaneous caresses, I feel that they touch my soul, sometimes even tears appear, not because I am sad but because of the fullness of emotion.
I also celebrate the life of my loves, we don't need many things to celebrate, sometimes I just make a small cake and we accompany it with coffee.... We celebrate our birthdays, our wedding anniversaries (civil and church), our college graduation anniversaries, the anniversary of when we adopted our beloved Nero (July 16), and the date we assume he was born (January 16), and even every birthday-month of my children's birth, my prince was born on an August 8, so every 8th of the month we celebrate, the same with my princess who was born on the 25th.
So I am already 44 years old... I look back and the time that has passed seems so fast, I think about what I have lived, what I have overcome, what I have achieved, I look back at my past days with a full smile and with a kind heart. I try not to stop too much to look back, because I want to be aware of my present to enjoy it too, so I can keep on celebrating...
