'Why?' I think it's most common question my friends and family ask me when I came up with another idea. They couldn't understand, when I decided to move, from my hometown area to Warsaw (~180 miles). Even more 'why(s)' I get, when announced that I'm going to move to UK. 'But you've got good job' - some said, 'Is it about the money or promotion?' - my manager asked. But the best came from my Dad - 'We don't have to visit you so often. I'll talk with Mom'. It made my day back than.
And it wasn't about money, or seeing my parent too often or even Warsaw itself (some say that it's worst city to live). I didn't know what is it about. I just knew that I don't like this life anymore. And buying stuff to fulfill it, or getting mortgage for a flat isn't something that put more sense to my life. I felt like in cage. I felt that everything has already been chosen in my life. I had a job, I was close to take marriage with bank and get a flat, maybe even dog, and only choice which left to make, was about hobby. And paint colour. Which I believe would be changed, if I was going to meet right girl. Instead of having all this, I decided to move to UK. WHY? I don't know. I just felt that I need to try. See how it is. And there was one more thing. Pressure. Pressure from my parent, to grown up and get mortgage. And my internal pressure, which told me that I can to better.
And here I'm. Small town in UK. Did my life dramatically change? No. You're waiting for 'but'. Hmm, there can be some 'but', if I'm going to pursue my dream, I hope. So I still working from 8 to 5. I live in area, that with my earning getting mortgage is impossible, so don't need to worry about that. But, my approach has changed. 3 years ago, if someone will tell me that I'll have blog and publish something I won't believe. If this person will add posts will be in English, and I'd laugh for a good moment. What has changed than? I learned more about myself. I started to meditate, go for a run more often. It gave me bigger picture and also help to control my internal pressure. So instead of just try to change everything, I learned to pursued my ideas. One of which is this blog. Second, bit older is photography. For anyone who is interested: https://500px.com/neatlywisenuts . I've got third one, which I work on. It is to open my own business. I've got few ideas, now need to put them into business plan and try to get some funds.
Pressure. My internal pressure, is something which keep pushing me to do all that stuff. Friends and family still keep asking 'why'. Why I try this, why I try that. Some think it's ambitious. I don't. I think I just didn't find my place in this World. And I don't mean place on Earth. It's that I more, and more clearly see that what I do know for leaving, it doesn't give me any joy. It did on the beginning. And I start to see that I'm much more happy when work with people (not computer only), and can help them to achieve their goals or solve their problems. I could get promotion, and be a group leader or manager in future. But everyone who works in corporation, know that there is too much politics involved, and gold principal of 'divide and rule'. Really, too many artificial goals to met. One of the reason our World is so f*** up. But it's different story.
So I'll try pushing and change my life to fit my image. BTW. Metaphor that life is like road with junctions and bands, I think it's bullshit. When you stop on road, you're in the same place no matter what. In life, everything is changing when you stop for a moment. I think life is like rapid stream, and you've got just few second to make decisions. After, you'll be in totally different place, with new decisions to make.
Thank you and let's play ;)
Let me know if you have any problems to solve, or goals to achieve. Maybe we can work them together.
Please visit www.projectdadwordpress.com
Thank you,
Misty Mind