These last 7 months or so have been crazy for most people in the world. I've been having all kinds of different emotions during that time, ranging from anger, to sadness, feelings of loneliness at times (yah, even with 4 kiddos), to happiness, joy being with the kids and outdoors. I've also been lazy at times, and then very active again. I can have all kinds of things planned one day, but get nothing done, while the next day I planned a quiet day and all of a sudden I get this surge of energy that makes me move mountains.
But more than anything else, I've been having this feeling that we're being robbed of precious time, and it's almost like time has stood still for me.
Well, it has and it hasn't. I continue to get older but then with the feeling that I'm not getting anywhere at the moment...
I've been stuck. Not literally but in my head. I've let my ego, my mind take over too much, too long, and it gives me that feeling of lost time, and being stuck. When I analyze my own thoughts though, I know this is complete bullshit.
I'm my own worst enemy at times.
Because it's not that I am out of ideas. Not at all. I think I may have the too-many-ideas-to-put-them-into- motion syndrome.
So how to deal with this?
When trying to get out of my head, and into myself, my heart, the only way for me is to calm the mind. Meditation is my medium of choice. To me, meditation is not just sitting quietly, eyes closed, in the darkness behind my thoughts. It can be (and often is) a walk on the beach, the more wind the better, or a quiet stroll into the forest that surrounds us. Or even a shower. Water gives me something nothing else can: the feeling that I can wash away thoughts to let creative, inspired spirit in.
In the shower an idea came to me. There were no doubts. No thoughts to tell me I can't do something, or don't have the means to do it. Just an idea, and the more I kept the idea dance around in my mind, the more I knew it was the right direction to take.
For me
For us.
I love water. I love the ocean. Her power, power to destroy, and power to give life. I swam from a very young age, before I ever had any lessons.
In my teen years, I could either be found swimming, windsurfing, water skiing (not very well hehe), sailing.
Later, when I was traveling, I worked on a boat for many lovely months in St. Martin. It was the only job I have ever had that had me up at 6 in the morning, work from 7 am till 7 pm, six days a week, and loving it. Out of all jobs I've done in my life, it was the best. I loved, and enjoyed every second of it.
The kids and I have been talking about getting a boat recently. Why not?
My campervan idea is still on the board but if you really think about it, a boat wouldn't be too much out of reach either. Campervans are crazy expensive. At least here they are. Boats are relatively cheap.
It also has some logistic advantages: If the crazy powers that be decide to close any borders again, a campervan won't get us off this island. A boat will.
However, taking the kids, with the experience I have handling a good sized boat with a sail, it just doesn't seem too much of an option at the moment. I have the experience, but not enough. I don't feel confident enough to sail us all off this island.
The water in the shower brought the answer. That same evening I scoured the internet for my options. I could almost slap myself for not thinking of it sooner. Where better to get certified for anything to do with boats than here? The Irish waters are some of the most challenging on earth. If you learn it here, you can do it anywhere...
The Western Irish Coast - near Killala, County Mayo
I felt like the only way to not have me feel like time is slipping away, and I'm sitting around doing nothing noteworthy is to take action. This way, I may not feel like being here is all for nothing and we're wasting our time here. The honest truth is that right now, we don't have the means nor the possibility to go anywhere. I mean, if I really had to, there will be places to go but it would be starting over completely, without a plan, without back-up and I'm just not sure if that's the right direction to take.
So the other day I found the best yachting school I could find here in Ireland. My goal is to eventually become a yachting master. What this would mean is that I'd basically know all the ins and outs of yachting on a larger vessel, how to instruct a crew, etc. Not only that but with this in your pocket, you can pretty much find a job anywhere around the globe. Anywhere.
At the moment I'm not looking for that kind of job - but you just never know.
Now, to get from where I am now to becoming a yachting master (next step would be teaching by the way, but not sure if I want anything like that) if I were to do it the fast way, it would take 15 weeks of intensive training, on board of a ship. Needless to say that that's not really an option for me at the moment. They have a few days off in between but I can't really tell my kids: 'Hey, you're on your own for 15 weeks!'
Plus, the cost of that course runs to almost 10,000 euro and uh, yeah...even though I aspire to have this kind of pocket change in the near future, at the moment I don't have it lying around sooooo....
I asked them if the course can be split into several shorter courses, and the answer was yes, that is possible. The first course is called 'competent crew' which is basically an intro course for beginners, or for people like me, who've sailed before but not recently: a refresher course to become more competent. The name says it all. It would mean that I'd either be away for 5 days in one go, or for one weekend, and one long weekend (5 day total) which is totally doable for me with a little preparation. My eldest and her boyfriend are more than capable to handle the kiddos for a few days, and if needs must, I always have my friend Judith around to help, or my sister in law in Waterford. I'd say she'd be delighted to see my mini-crew for a few days. Price wise it's also much more what I can afford, 720 Euro, so it's all good. I also asked if there was any chance that this course could be cancelled seen the covid-crap circumstances, and she was happy to tell me that she didn't see any restrictions coming their way because there would only be 4-5 people on board, outdoors most of the time, except for half a day when the crew has some course work to do in a class room.
Now, I haven't committed to any dates yet as the first courses are to start this month but I am planning to get my act together and sign up and pay half of the fee in advance. That way I can get this started whenever I want. My plan is either in November, or right after Christmas. That way, I can do the other, sometimes longer, courses in spring. That makes things less cold and more comfortable. There is one course that needs to be done to make part of the required sea miles of 2,500 miles, which means sailing from Ireland to either Scotland or Wales and England, and I'd probably have to do more than one of those to get the required miles. It would mean to be on board of the ship for 6-7 days and I know from experience that it's much better to do these trips when the days are longer, and the nights less cold.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. First things first. I made the start, now I need to follow through. I will. And before I know it, we'll be sailing away like this:
