I just wanted to share with you some thoughts that i wrote down couple weeks ago about civil marriage
My opinion in that :
Often you can hear: "You did not work out with him because you came early," "civil marriage does not protect the woman and children."
Others even say that if you live with a man before marriage, he does not take any responsibility, and only putting a stamp in your passport, he works the switch "my - not mine."
You can not completely deny the logic of such statements, but you can go from the opposite. So we will proceed.
If a civil marriage is a dead end development of relations, then the official marriage is the guarantee of a happy life. Correctly? Go ahead.
Let's deduce the formula: Wedding + marriage + two or three children = the formula of a long and happy marriage. But is it true? Let's analyze ❗
Often a man treats marriage as something self-evident. And in the event of a divorce, it is not a fact that he will willingly pay alimony. So our parents, former classmates, neighbors live. And every day they are more and more
And how can you, in a month or a year, find out what kind of man really is? Believe me, if you think that you know everything about your partner, you do not know anything. How can one understand this without a civil marriage? Marry, have children and only then understand that you are different? The choice is always there.
How to understand that it's time to live together?
The answer is obvious - when you both want it. And do you know what happens when a man proposes to live together, but you refuse him? You show him your disbelief
Fact: men are responsible exactly as much as you trust them. If you are cautious about partners, you trust them for 10 percent, then you will attract exactly 10 percent.
What to do then? Moving on the first day of dating? Of course not. Do not rush events. But if a man offers to try to live together - try to at least consider .Only then life will show your real reaction to how he eats, watches a video on youtube in bed, basically all his cockroaches in the head .This is like a joint repair, which will show overall stress resistance.
There is a good phrase: "Try to spend one day together without wi-fi". And it's true, because real life is not a trip to coffee shops twice a week or weekends together. It's to listen to him after a hard day's work, to find compromises, to communicate with his friends and many other things that do not immediately manifest
And where do you live after all?
Most often everything is clear - on its "territory". This happens in most cases and I will not say much about it.
But it is worth analyzing the situation when a man moves to you, and not vice versa. This is a very responsible step and very few people are ready for it. There are several reasons: the vulnerability of one's own dignity, the fear of ceasing to be the leader in the relationship, the thoughts of others.
If this happens, then the man is getting very relaxed. He has a reduced level of motivation and desire to achieve something on his own. And instead of your expectations from the money saved for rent and the personal growth of the chosen one, the man just drifts down the river. So think twice about living together on your territory
Worse than this can only be living together with parents...
No matter how good people they are, you need a personal space.
Where nothing will restrict you and no one will indicate how to do it or not worth it. Where you will feel free, where you want to return after work and call friends.
Of course, if the parents have a house for twenty-three rooms, the situation looks different. But usually the realities are completely different.
So why a civil marriage is good?
Fear of loneliness, the pressure of relatives, constant wedding photos of girlfriends in the news tape - no matter how sad it did not sound, but here they are, the most frequent reasons for marriage.
Find a guy faster, get married faster, give birth to a baby faster. And then soon 30, 40, 50, but you have not had ... sorry, what?
Remember - there is no last train. Do not try to jump into the last car, if you are not sure about the direction of the train.
Ask yourself one question - why do you want to get married?
But just answer it honestly. If you feel your value as a woman and found someone you unconditionally trust , then accept my congratulations!
But if you are in a panic and just afraid to be alone, then do not make a mistake. If you turn out to be not with that person and not in those relationships, then leaving them will be much more difficult. And life in them will turn into a continuous hell.
You are the main source of your happy future. Only on you depends the development of your relationship.
When you realize that you are special, you are so alone in the whole world and with you such will be happy your man - then you will no longer have fear.
*You can be infinitely happy, love and be loved, breaking templates.
Live as you want. Love the way you want .
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this post. It means a world to me.It was just my thoughts and don't judge it so hard .If you have anything to add im always open to answer you in the comments below.
