ohhhh... !LUV

I can just say, I see so many meanings in what your written. And your not alone... I understand your pain too, because I too feel my pain, the pain that's much it's numbed me.

But is others can't undertand your pain, its not their fault, we can't expect it. God's there, to take some of your pain but you got to take your pain, as your his mirror image, he bore pain and gave his life already.

I am not chritian, so limited knowledge.

That being said, you have life, and your abundant, you have his blessings, find your purpose and keep giving it push...

The struggles are there... but you will find strenght!

I understand how much peace it is to be isolated. I felt it. DOing your maths, I have entered my 3rd phase of life. I am 40 years.

Can't say how meserable, been years and years, wasted, provably got stains of sins that others can't see, but I know... but the God has faith and showers grace still... on me... I still struggle but I try find meaning.

When I think of others pain, my pain ebbs(: ... I am numb but on periods of time, pain's pretty bad.

58 years is still good(: ... have a great 4th phase of life. Keep inspiring.

Let's not expect things, but do your best, with good intentions but beyond that, that lose connections with people who see you for what you are!... grow that bond... have that few good souls who recognize your worth... not superficially... see your beauty and can understand your pain. If you don't it's ok too...

Just be peaceful for trying to be the best that you can be, and if you don't have sinful stains like I have, your already a angel... God seen you.

But personally, I have have unanswered things... why does bad happen to innocent?... Why ?... and how can someone whose been good but got too much bad happened in life, be grateful?... its hard.

The answer maybe, there's a lot of bad in the world and we have to use our wisedom, to protect ourselves from this bad, when time comes... I am sure God will help.

Keep the faith. I don't know if I made any sense. But ...well...this is philosophy, and not all can see what's meant in what we poured here(:

GOod day sir!!!