Once, a beggar came to me when I was gathering with my friends at a teashop and asked for some money which wouldn't hurt me financially. I had 2 choices, give or not. If I give, I knew I wouldn't help him much and worse, I knew I will be enforcing his behaviour. If I were not going to give, I would somehow feel at least a little guilty and some of my friends or maybe even other people would judge me. The worse problem was not that people judge me. It's that there's already a crisis going on inside my head already after the incident with thoughts bouncing between 2 choices with certain confusions. I live in an asian country and this is not an uncommon problem. People living in oriental countries might have come across like this more than once.
Then, what's my choice and how about others? Well, for me, sometimes I give and sometimes, I don't. Most people do the same. I once asked my brother about what he usually did. He said it depends. He said he doesn't give if there is no sign of human dignity. Well, he means if the beggar was an alcoholic or a poor looking adult showing a little baby as a bait, he doesn't give because he said they are dishonest. He did give if a person openly told his story and his difficulties and just request a favor. He said there's dignity in it. At least he put some interest and thought. Some questions popped up in my mind. What difference did I make when I give? Is there better ways, rather than giving or not? What are others' thoughts on this? I went online and search about it and gain some perspective. An interesting fact I found out was that there's a business of begging, well, in a specific country. It makes me think that there maybe even in my country.
Coincidentally, at that time, I saw a news article about how a tourist deal with a beggar. What he did was invited the beggar to a restaurant and offer him some food. I felt that it's a thoughtful decision. The tourist didn't just give. He brought back the beggar's dignity, how it's like to be back in a society. That's what I wanted to do for all this time and I just couldn't figure it out.
Well, whenever I recalled that experience, I found a big difference between giving and contributing. Giving is superficial. It has no interest in others' needs, no deep thought. No impact. Well, you might come up with research data that says giving makes you happier and more fulfilled, but is giving just about ourselves? Contributing, on the other hand, is a deeper thoughtful process and most of the time not obvious, but has impact. So, don't give. Start contributing.
