It's close to 6 am and I'm sitting here feeling like my heart is about to pound out of my chest. My anxiety is working hard on me this week and it's causing me some major problems. I haven't slept well or any at all for the last couple of days insomnia has kicked in full force which is caused by my anxiety. It's a vicious cycle I go through often.
I wish I could be normal to just be able to lay down at night and just quickly fall asleep. My boyfriend can fall asleep so fast in mid conversation. We lay down for bed, we can be talking and the next thing I know I hear snoring. So I just lay there in silence, wishing that was me, but my mind won't let me rest. My anxiety is the devil himself it keeps me at arms reach. I'm constantly in fear of everyday life. It becomes so bad it's hard for me to function some days.
I can not be around crowds of people it's like I lose all control and I go into a panic attack from trouble breathing, crying, and the constant feeling that I'm gonna die. So shopping is a hard thing for me it's usually a very fast trip, I rather shop online at home. Driving is another ordeal for me every attempt I have made to drive I freeze up I cant move and my heart feels like its going to explode. Anxiety has taken control of my life more than I like to admit. It makes things so much harder. I just wish I could be normal.
I once was normal, but some stressful, traumatic events happened in my life that completely changed the person that I once was. So be grateful if you can do simple things in everyday life cause some people are not as fortunate and it truly is beyond their control.
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Thanks, Michelle