Most of my night are prayless, so God I hope this one counts, Ive been wanting to talk but no words come out. Im trying to hide from myself but not you, that's why I go straight home from school. As I lay in bed I stare at the moon, thinking about what you might do if another season of dull passes through. So I feel obligated to remind myself and to others that Im serious when I say love you, and that I hope my actions towards the good can balance the lack. My prayers are thinner than addict 100th attempt on crack and with the dullness I lay down and take a nap and I drift into darkness as my fears of me possibly not waking up creeps up and starts. And as I awake I feel the conflict of improvement inflaming my heart, and as I get out of bed the final war between good and evil officially starts. My guard is up, my guard is down, by the end of the day I look like a clown. But you yahweh elohim, always got my back so looking however is beautifully worthwhile. Im sorry that my prayers arent constant as they once were oh Lord I pray that you encourage me to pray, I hope my guardian angel is steroidal and guards my bed as I sleep through the day, sleep through the pain, sleep just to slumber away. My 2014 be that of improvement and humbleness let not my heart be rumbling and tumbling and stumbling over, I want to love you more than my heart can humanly stand but my sins are still chains around my wrists burning me with every single day that passes. Sins are glassless, hollow, molasses. I'm a one winged angel in the dark, trying to find my other wing and I have no spark. But with your holiness I can always see in the dark, because of you I can become whole again and fly to noahs ark, if 2014 is supposed to be the year of improvement then why can't I even start?
