Good structure, the prompts development, and a humorous ending. )))

One thing that made me wonder was the fact of you choose a remote, relative to the action, vantage point. It felt like I was reading a journalistic report about what happened. Maybe if you would move the vantage point closer to the actions, if you include more dialog and make the scene more visible (tangible) rather than technical, I, as a reader, would have been more engaged with the story. In that sense, in terms of the "presence, tangibility and fluidity", I liked the story of @justclickindiva

https://steempeak.com/wewrite/@justclickindiva/the-streetlight-we-write-11

Cheers!