as the saying goes...

A greater part of the issue is that we are conditioned to conform to particular rules and regulations by societal and cultural norms.

Being different from these can see us as being outcast and forsaken by those around us and loved ones.

This can be an incredibly powerful tool to guide behavior or at least what we tell others about ourselves and our behaviors.

The church, for example, gives us a set of rules to live by and tells us if we deviate from those rules we are bad people and are going to hell. So to make people think we are "good people" we lie to others , and ourselves, about our wants and desires.

The problem is that this complicates things not only for those we interact with but ourselves. If we were open and honest about our wants, needs , desires and intentions we would gravitate to like minded people and have a better life experience.

but as it stands we lie and deceive one another, and again ourselves, by denying who we really are. Persistent upkeep of this facade can lead adverse effects to the individual such as somatization.

somatization
/ˌsəʊmətʌɪˈzeɪʃ(ə)n/
nounPsychiatry
noun: somatization; noun: somatisation

the manifestation of psychological distress by the presentation of physical symptoms "somatization disorder"

Let alone the damage it can do to other individuals who may also suffer greatly by being caught up in "the game of acting normal" for the sake of family, friends, groups, governments , etc.

lets take for example someone who is polyamorous, they may be pressured into having a "normal" relationship by societal structures. They find a partner, get married have kids, mortgage , house on the hill, picket fences and vanilla skies...

But despite achieving all that society deems success, for that individual they feel as though their life is not compete, as though it is lacking.

Their desire for polyamorous interaction is not being fulfilled AND due to the societal constructs they feel bad about having these desires in the first place, even though they may have known about these feelings all their lives.

If this person chooses to abandon the life they have been forced to build to make others happy, their partner and children will suffer. Not even considering the kind of backlash the person may face themselves.

If the person chooses to stay the course they must live their lives denying themselves of what they truly desire and continue living the lie they were convinced to live.

The church, and other governing bodies, may have good intentions when designing these guides to life , but the reinforcement can be detrimental to our existence.

But imagine if you will... a world where we could be open and honest about who we are and what we want, where we didn't have to deceive one another to appear to be "normal", where we weren't tricked into building our lives of misery based on others opinions of what we "should" want...

wouldnt it be nice....?