Day10

I did a hackathon Friday/Saturday. Was focused on the project and did not do my journaling exercises. Back on the horse today.

Life has been really strange for me recently. I have a plan ticket to Vancouver on Tuesday but am not sure if I am going to go. I have been really excited about this for a while but it seems like the universe is telling me to stay.

One of the things that I have been realizing lately is that whenever I make a decision with my mind, it doesn't really work. When I make decisions with my heart (or more accurately, hear the decisions that have already been made), they seem to work much more smoothly.

This has been really challenging for me. I grew up in a society where if you had a problem you used your mind to solve it. This doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

I think one of the limitations I am being asked to expose is the idea that things are "problems" to begin with. I have almost no cash in my bank account right now. It has been rather stressful at times. Traditionally I would view being "broke" as a problem and then think about various ways to solve that .... I tried that. I had some stuff that I could sell. I listed it on craigslist, got a few responses, and every single one fell through. I contacted a bunch of blogs about selling guest posts ... and none replied.

I think the message that is being expressed to me is "there are no problems" and that if I keep the mindset of "I don't have enough. I need to *solve" this" that I'm actually not seeing the big picture and getting trapped in the details.

For a while now I have been focused on cultivating abundance. I am going to continue this practice and continue living my life as if I had everything that I wanted/needed... but maybe I already do??

I took the metro to this recent hackathon... When I got to the station I saw an old friend... he had an extra metro pass and gave it to me in addition to a bunch of chikfila gift cards (he works for corporate). I got to the hackathon and enjoyed free food and drink all weekend.

I took the metro back but the "card buying stations" weren't accepting cards so I snuck in behind another guy.... (still 0 dollars spent).

The next morning my mom gave me some $$ for the metro. I ate for free all day at the hackathon.

Afterwards I wanted to smoke some weed. I saw some people smoking a blunt in the park and asked if they could join. They said yes (I gave them some chikfila coupons because they were cool).

The whole weekend I had food, drink, transport and even recreational drugs... all given to me! You may see this as a coincidence but I see this as a strategic message.

YOU DON'T NEED MONEY TO DO WHAT YOU WANT

All you need is energy and will power, both of which come complimentary with life.

Don't let fear hold you back folks!