I moved into a new house yesterday. Excited ... but I still feel empty on the inside.
It's not because of the house ... it's because of my life.
I've been running a construction company for 3+ months not. It's not what I want to do with my life. I needed work, needed money (or so I thought) and so I fell back on what I knew ... building shit.
Well, in this case I'm not even really building things ... but that's ok.
Business is good, it's supporting my life, but I really need to start living.
Living my life, doing the things that bring me joy, expressing my truth.
This whole corona virus has everyone depressed. 6 months now! That's a really long time
I'm ready for it to be over.
I am starting a new business.
That is exciting ... I guess.
Fuck!
I have a crew that I am managing and they are being a pain in the ass. This is the suffering that comes from success. Am I really successful? Sitting, clicking away at keys on this key board, a glorified baby sitter.
It's definitely not the life that I want to live.
Ok, ok, ok, phew. Deep breathes
At least I am getting laid today.
I matched with this girl on a dating app and we are supposed to link up tonight.
I haven't had sex in over a month ... far too long.
I need physical touch. Everyone does really. It's been way to long for me.
I think once I get a vehicle again (see above frustrating crew) I will be able to balance some stuff out. I can move around more easily and start doing the stuff that I really want.
IE : build farms
So, let's give it a shot eh?
Why not, try something new they said.
Give it a chance and see what happens??
Hmm, we'll see.
But I figure it's worth a shot
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