I Wish I Had The Ability To Change My Past

A friend of mine had once asked me if there is anything I'd like to change about my past and I gave a quick response that I have too many things to change about my past... She smiled and said something that gave me a change of heart towards everything that has happened in my past.

I am grateful for what have happened, all that brought me this far in life

Okay, at first I tried to compare how far she has gone in life and how far I've gone, I couldn't comprehend immediately why I should be so grateful but then another thought to back what she said came in... What if something worse had happened? What would a spotless and no challenge past mean for me right now? I realized that I needed those bad experiences, those sad moments and those hurtful memories to go on towards my future.

But I wish I had the ability to change my past

While I'd not want to forget my past but use them as lessons for my present and future, I've come to find it hard to think positively enough about them. I didn't had a smooth past like most people and it's affecting my present in a way I'd wish it doesn't, I can't seem to figure out a way out of it yet so I wish I could change them instead. Yeah, I wish I could go the easy way in a difficult world lol.

It is an impossible thing to happen and even though some wishes do come true, it doesn't make this wish an even valid one. I've always wished after I noticed that the past I've lived have some positive effect on my present than the negative since I really can't change my past totally. Sometimes it's hard to control how one thinks but when the control is there, a lot of things could change for the better in our present.

I wish I had the ability to change my thoughts totally but if I could only control my past memories for them to act on my present actions positively, that would be fulfilling for me... It isn't a hard wish, and I want to make it happen somehow.