One thing I've come to learn in life is, "I'll never meet up to the standards people want me to" and that is because, people will always see the sides of me that they want to see and not what is actually being seen (I mean, from my perspective which I know and believe is the most exact one). Everyone is different and so it's how we see things especially in the way we want to see them.
In as much as I do believe that I know myself, there is a lot about myself that still needs figuring out because I've been made to understand one imperfect thing in life and that is "Change is constant" so it simply means I could change over time depending on what I believe should be worked on or I'll change because of external influences sometimes which I try to limit more.
With that rule of change, I don't expect to know myself at a hundred percent but I do know that nobody knows me anywhere close to what I know about myself. It's one of the things I'm actually learning more for some time now, what do people know or think about me and what do I really think about myself without believing in what others say I am. It's hard but life changing.
I've been on a communication with people through just chats and a lot of them always judge me based off on what and how I chat with them, it's expected because that is the side of me they see and connect with. But I know a lot of things would be different if we had connected physically, maybe they would not even imagine saying to me what they think about me online.
I remember someone saying I'm too carefree, that I don't care about my pride or something. I know there was something that was seen that brought about the statement but it was even more interesting that I agreed with that saying because one thing I know very well about myself is, I've never really bothered about a lot of things people bother for but I'm being misunderstood.
Why should I care about my pride when I'm not begging for money with my character at stake or as an exchange? I know very well that there are some things I will never do as the person I am but that statement actually came from a place that it meant, I'll do anything even if my pride is at stake. Well, I don't think I have any pride to stake. I believe I am a humble lady and that's who I am.
I can't start counting the things people think of me because I've honestly not gotten much that are against what I think about myself and that's because I'm yet to do the actual work of really knowing who I am and begin to stand on new beliefs that is and will be working for me. So I can not hate feedback, they are a reflection of what I could possibly be showing to the world but I choose to love what I think about myself more while I embrace new improvements and grow.
Images used are mine.
