This is my December song

Nothing is more frustrating than knowing the darkness is quicksand.
I do everything I can to avoid it but it's always there.
And no matter how hard I try to stay on the lit path
I fall in.

The more I struggle, the faster the dark place swallows me whole.
The world stops but time keeps moving forward.
Finally, when I begin to emerge I have to wonder where the hell I've been and what was I doing with myself?
I feel so weak which is why...

This is my December song.

It repeats every year and it's only gotten worse since my father died.
So, I dedicate this poem to him.
I kind of imagine it to be song lyrics but a melody escapes me so if anyone wants to collaborate just let me know.
Anyway...

It’s so hard to let you go
I wonder if you’d like to know
That my world is forever changed
It’s a little darker now

^{Standing at a mirror and I won’t look in her eyes
Body achin’, soul forsaken, and the sun won’t pierce the pain around her heart.}

A remembered sound or a scent
I’m twisted and a little bent
‘Cause my world is forever changed
It’s a little colder now

^{Standing at a mirror and I won’t look in her eyes
Body achin’, soul forsaken, and the sun won’t pierce the sadness in her mind.}

I look whole but I’m broken
The pain is unspoken
You’re gone and I’m forever changed
I’m a little lesser now

^{Standing at a mirror and I won’t look in her eyes
Body achin’, soul forsaken, and the sun won’t pierce the shadow of this void.}