Enough With Your Rotten Sound-proofing and Dirty Sound-proofing
Dear Mrs Black,
I have always felt relieved living near to you. You are the most little neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your barking dog.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your sound-proofing is too rotten and your sound-proofing way too dirty. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a dog collar
I have to insist that you take action to stop your barking dog from upsetting me. I demand that you give up drum playing then invest in better sound-proofing.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your drum playing increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a pleasant neighbourhood like Wysteria Lane.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the fire brigade and post photos of your barking dog on Twitter.
Furthermore, I have close ties with gangsters and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
memeon