Stick Your Sharp and Stupid Job, Chief
Dear Chief,
I have some news, which I think you will find teasing.
Over the last one hundred and seven days thirty two minutes, I have found working for Nerds R Us both sharp and stupid.
It's fair to say that my secretary is dirty and the librarians are little, but this has not stopped me from finding the work sharp.
I have really enjoyed crashing with my secretary and stealing poor wallets from the fridge. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming a zombie have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a pair of scissors. I dream of getting up in the morning and poking, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a fire engine and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as a shop assistant, to pursue my true calling as a zombie.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of sensitivity, which is why I leave with a teasing heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of longer working hours.
Yours sincerely
memeon