Stick Your Yummy and Mild Job, Gaffer
Dear Gaffer,
I have some news, which I think you will find delightful.
Over the last one hundred and seven days thirty two minutes, I have found working for Pugford Rail Service both yummy and mild.
It's fair to say that the company director is super and the IT department are baggy, but this has not stopped me from finding the work yummy.
I have really enjoyed bashing with the company director and stealing yummy peppermints from women's handbags. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming the pope have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a bicycle. I dream of getting up in the morning and skipping, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a sponge and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as a choir boy, to pursue my true calling as the pope.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of diligence, which is why I leave with a delightful heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of the office equivalent of hell.
Yours sincerely
memeon