Enough With Your Untidy Dog and Blunt Sound-proofing
Dear Mrs Jackson,
I have always felt frustrated living near to you. You are the most yummy neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud singing.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your dog is too untidy and your sound-proofing way too blunt. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a hammer
I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud singing from upsetting me. I demand that you cut down the hedge then rehome to dog.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your untidy hedge increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a pleasant neighbourhood like Wysteria Lane.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the fire brigade and post photos of your loud singing on Reddit.
Furthermore, I have close ties with the mafia and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
memeon