Stick Your Moist and Mild Job, Chief
Dear Chief,
I have some news, which I think you will find false.
Over the last one hundred and seven days thirty two minutes, I have found working for Local Heath Plus both moist and mild.
It's fair to say that my line manager is spotty and the managers are rancid, but this has not stopped me from finding the work moist.
I have really enjoyed complaining with my line manager and stealing teasing pencils from the fridge. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming the pope have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a drum kit. I dream of getting up in the morning and bashing, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a sandwich and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as a choir boy, to pursue my true calling as the pope.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of charity, which is why I leave with a false heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of a soulless existence.
Yours sincerely
memeon