Hello, hello, helloooo hivers!, I'm melcakes but you can call me Milky since I love and I feel special hearing other people call me in that way. I am 18 years old living in the country side of Cebu Philippines. I just turn 18 last August 2023 . I am currently a Senior High School Graduating. I'm describing my self as someone who is strong, soft and a moody person. I am the third child among four and the second girl among my siblings I have eldest brother and sister and a younger brother.
Personal level of me!
Since I turned 18 I haven't experience a work although I want to experience working ,but I was too busy of my school works specially that I'm a graduating student. I guess its not the right time for me to have a job because I ask god for a sign, instead god gave me a responsibility which is I am the one acting as guardian of my cousin and younger brother, I also help my tito in his business in which he is selling duck eggs and we call it balot here in philippines .
My tita (the sister of my mother )and I celebrated the same birthday and imagine, we have the same birthday, the same attitude, the same favorite fruit such as manggo and guava and we both like sour foods, almost everything about us are the same, she is not just my tita but also my second mother. Even though she is my tita and we have a huge age gap we always get along with and bond like friends.
(This picture is from my brother's phone)
In our family I am the third child among four, I'm the second girl among my siblings, I have eldest brother, sister and a younger brother. Our parents are working away from home, they are away from us during weekdays since their work is far so basically we are the one who is in our house since I was in grade 5.
My sister who is 2 years older than me is the one cooking for our food and budgeting our allowance for the week since my older brother is in our grandpa and grandma's house taking care of them. Also I am the support system of my sister in doing household chores, I'm in take charge in washing dishes, and washing our clothes. Its truly hard growing up without your parents beside you, but we dont have a choice and we know that god will always be their for us.
(The picture is from our photo album)
I salute my inner child for fighting, for not giving up, and for always believing, imagine we are force to think mature early since our parents will not be in our side everyday because they need to strive for our future and for the future of our family, but they didn't failed to make us feel loved and they keep reminding us that never forget to give respect to others and put god in everything you do.
Challenges that I overcome
When I was 16 I started to see the reality of life, I started to feel pressure academically even though no one was pressuring me, I find myself facing dread about the possibility of failure. I guess all of us experience it but in different situations and at varying times, I always overthink numerous what if's such as what if I will fail my exam?, what if I will not pass the exam? what if my parents will be disappointed in me, but despite the different what if's, I still continue to do my best everyday and I always pray to god that those what if's will remain as what if's.
There is one time I feel that the world was against me because I always heard other people even my family members say that they don't like this specific attitude of mine and I don't know their reasons. At that time I always hear their words every night and it hurts me. I started to question myself such as why I am like this? Why do I have this specific attitude? Why don't they like me? What's wrong with me? And even thinking about it now makes me feel like I'm on the verge of crying.
The hardest part of it is I already feel insecure and conscious of myself, because of the words that I heard “ you have a flat nose ", those words affect my whole being and they keep on telling me that without thinking of my feelings, even my family members and it hurt sooo much, imagine one of your family telling you those words? its absurd! As a 16 year old it was hard for me, I don't know how to take it and handle it. I feel that time that everyone is against me.
So I tried to find a solution to that problem, I changed myself which is a big mistake, my problem worsened in a way that I already don't know who I am. When I am in the process of changing myself, it affects my mental health. There's this one night I talk to god while I am crying, I said that "God help me become a better person, heal my heart and give me a peace of mind".
After a week of that talk I feel at ease and it's like god is comforting me, god heard my prayer and made me realize everything, that there's nothing wrong with me, I am just being me, it's just the people around me are the problem. Thinking of those circumstances, realization hits me that we don't have to change ourselves to fit their standards instead we have to be a better version of ourselves. We are the captain of our life.
The things I like and love to do
(The 2 picture is from my friend)
First, I love playing volleyball. I started playing volleyball when I was in elementary school. From the very beginning, when my teacher introduced volleyball to me, I already knew that volleyball is my passion and I know from the start that volleyball makes me happy, I love what I am doing, that's why I am always into it.
I can also play other sports like badminton and taekwondo. My older brother always encourages me to join taekwondo, I remembered he told me that taekwondo is better than volleyball because in taekwondo you will learn self defense that can help you protect yourself from bad guys especially that I am a girl, so I gave it a try and joined taekwondo because I realized that my brother has a point.
I trained taekwondo while playing volleyball but I only lasted 2 years in taekwondo since my teacher told me that I have to choose one sports to focus on. I realized that if it is your passion and you love what you are doing nothing can stop you.
Second, I am into dancing since in dancing I can express my self and it lift up my mood if I feel sad or stress, dance is my escape, it lessen my sadness and dance help me to divert myself in thinking stressful things. I find comfort in dancing, it always makes me feel better and it energized me. I am influenced by my cousin's and family since most of them are good in dancing.
I also like watching tiktok videos in tiktok app it makes me smile everytime I see people dancing and having a good time together. Also vlogs in youtube is one of my happy pill, I always feel motivated by watching the vlogers. I gain so many learnings in watching youtube. There's so much in internet that can help me to be more knowledgeable.
I am fond of the sea I am always mesmerized by the beauty of nature and the crystal clear of the sea. The sound of waves, the white sand, the cold breeze brushing through my skin, the cold water, the salty air that I breath and the blue clear water makes me feel peaceful, it gives me a therapuetic feeling. Everything that the creator create is beautiful.
Lastly, sunrise always amazed me that's why I always wake up early to see the sunrise, I love how the sun slowly rise and the fog that forms near the ground that makes the view more mesmerizing. The beauty of the country side during sunrise is different, it is such an overwhelming view. Sunrise always keep reminding me of new day, new experience, new memories and new beginning.
Why I am here?
As part of this hive community I want to share my experiences, my challenges, funny moments, the exciting part of my life that I will be facing soon and my journey as a student . Also I am here to connect with friends here on hive.
I am beyond grateful that my adviser 
I always keep in mind the words our teacher said to us" that if there's an opportunity, go for it! Because there's nothing you'll lose if you'll just try".
I'm very excited to share more of my stories and to read your stories as well. Thank you for reading, See you soon on my next blog!