Today wasn’t anything special, just work. Although, while I was at work I couldn’t help but write. It’s honestly the best escape from the real world and I love it.
I’ve had this idea for a novel since I was 15 years old, and if you’ve read my previous post then you’d know that I’m going to start writing it. It’s exciting but scary and has been a long time coming. I don’t want anything out of writing apart from my name on the spine of a novel, sitting on a shelf somewhere. It’s not a lot to ask for but I know how hard writing is and how difficult it can be to get published. I’m hoping my story and writing is good enough, but if it’s not at least I can say that I tried.
Tomorrow is the day. The day I begin my long journey but it’s going to be worth it in the end. I hope you’ll all support me and I’ll try to give you updates where I can.
It’s funny, I’ve always loved writing but didn’t completely understand it until I was in Year 10. I’d failed my mock exams in English Language and couldn’t go onto study English Literature in Year 11. It honestly shocked me. I knew I could do better and I made it my goal to do so. When Year 11 came I went from a D to an A* in a year. This is pretty hard to do and required a lot of hard work and belief. I remember showing my mum my fiction story and her thinking that I’d got it off the internet. Or getting my best friend to read one of the stories I’d created (she didn’t know that I’d wrote it) only for her to ask me where she could buy a hardcopy. I realised in that year that writing was for me. Whether I really was good at it or not, I loved it. I’d found something that was mine.
After I finished school in England, I moved to Australia. In this time I was severely depressed but still kept a notebook beside my bed in case any brilliant ideas popped up in my dreams. One night I woke up, wrote two words down, and went back to sleep. In the morning I couldn’t remember my dream or anything that had occurred. I looked at this notebook, saw these words and all of a sudden my dream came back to me, like magic. Something came over me that I couldn’t contain and I began to write every detail down. I’d write everywhere, in my room, on the tram, in the living room, I told my parents I was just writing a journal as I’ve always been embarrassed of my writing. I filled the book quickly but didn’t know how to actually write a novel.
This idea has stuck with me and years later I’m finally going to write it. I’m not sure about telling my family or friends about it as I’m still embarrassed of people reading my work or even knowing that I write. Writing isn’t an embarrassing thing at all, I just don’t believe I’m any good at it.
I remember when I came to Australia and my parents sent me to College to study writing. I was 16 at the time. The teachers were awful and one day I get called aside by the teacher who run the course. She wasn’t impressed by me and I can’t remember why but she asked me how old I was. When I told her I was only 16 she looked shocked, as if she didn’t know. Apparently I was too young to be there and couldn’t handle the work. Even though I was getting better grades than my classmates and had only failed one assignment in journalism (She taught journalism and I hated it.) From that point on she made it her goal to get rid of me. Since I’d failed an assignment she called my dad and I into a meeting with her boss and began telling me how I wasn’t good enough or old enough to be there. She suggested I go into Childcare as that was more ‘suitable.’
I was absolutely shattered and since I was so young I didn’t know how to stand up for myself, I let her kick me off the course and I left without a fight. I did what she said and went into childcare which I hated and will never do again. I came straight back to writing and decided that I don’t need a teacher to tell me whether I can write or not.
I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t let other people tell you who you are or who you will be, define yourself.
That’s the end of my rant (for now!)
Until next time,
Meliss
Photo Cred: https://kobowritinglife.com/2013/08/26/10-winning-ways-to-open-your-novel/
