"What the hell, man?"
"This yahoo thinks he's made some big discovery."
"Oh geez, is he posting it?"
"Dude, he's staking his reputation on it. He's putting it in the New England Journal of Veterinarian Medicine." Evan was giddy.
Roland rubbed his sleepy eyes and peered over Evan's shoulder at the computer screen. "Dude, that's messed up."
"Yeah..."
Evan thought about the weeks of preparation. He worked harder on this than any of his other entries. He was sure this one would get his clip on line. This was going to blow up, he said to himself. The microphone was placed perfectly in his uncle's room.
"Don't you feel a little bad about this?"
"No way, this guys a duochebag." Evan let a smirk mar his handsome face. "Look! He's doing it again."
The tall man seated himself across from the Labrador. The symphony rose to crescendo on the turntable beside them. Oscar stared thoughtfully at the pooch. After the music retarded Oscar produced a shiny pocket watch. He let the chain fall through his slender fingers. He leaned in to the retriever saying something Evan couldn't quite hear. Evan had his face touching the screen when he heard it.
"Shit!"
Roland sat up, "What's up, man?"
Then he heard it again, "No way! Oh, my god!"
Roland pushed his partner onto his back, "Tell me right now, what's going on?"
"I didn't do that." He panted.
"Are you trying to bullshit me?"
Evan propped himself on his elbows and stuck out his chiseled chin, "I did not do that."
"What exactly, did you not do?"
"Listen," He rewound the video. When he pressed play he shot up like a bullet. "There!"
The dog clearly said the words, "you're an asshole". Evan put it on a loop and before Roland could respond he posted it under the caption: Amazing Dog speaks to prominent veterinary psychologist. In a few minutes there were a thousand of his regular subscribers posting views and in ten minutes there were over nine thousand.
One of them posted a link.
Roland watched as Evan's bulbous cheeks turned red. "Oh, my god!"
The link had seven thousand views. He knew it was just the beginning. He finally went viral, as the biggest joke of the day. On the split screen he suddenly noticed Oscar smiling up at the supposed hidden camera bud. The dog was long gone.
All at once it occurred to him that Roland had to be in on it. "You knew..."
The tawny blond twenty year old was sobbing or laughing, Evan couldn't quite tell. He punched him square in the back. He would have done worse, but he was keenly aware now, that he was live. Thousands of viewers would retweet his outbursts until they were finally bored or distracted by some other fool.
He wondered how long it would take for people to tire of: Asshole called out by a dog.
