Chapter 1: Rome’s Greatest Menace
The borders of the Roman Empire were expanding day by day. Barbarians in the north, rebels in the east, pirates in the south… War and conflict surrounded the empire on every front.
But the Roman army’s greatest problem was neither its enemies nor the endless wars…
Its greatest problem was two soldiers.
The first was Fakir Antantos, a man so unlucky that he rarely had a single copper coin in his pocket.
The second was Fukur Salamantan, a young and energetic soldier upon whom the gods had not been particularly generous in matters of intelligence. Because he never stopped talking, his comrades nicknamed him “Boiling Fukur Salamantan.”
These two soldiers spent less time swinging swords on the battlefield and more time making Roman legionaries laugh.
Whenever training began, chaos followed. Whenever a commander gave a speech, disaster was sure to strike.
One day, they accidentally dropped their commander’s horse into a bucket of paint. On another occasion, they distributed the kitchen inventory list to the entire army instead of the battle plans.
While the legionaries laughed until they could barely stand, the generals fumed with rage.
The result?
A regular whipping every week.
No soldier in Roman history had ever received more lashes than wages.
Yet fate had prepared a very different path for these two fools.
One ordinary day, one of Rome’s highest-ranking generals arrived at the camp to inspect the front lines.
At that exact moment, another ridiculous mistake by Antantos and Salamantan sent the entire legion into uncontrollable laughter.
At first, the general was furious.
Then he looked around.
For the first time in days, the war-weary soldiers were smiling.
That was when an unusual idea crossed his mind.
Perhaps what Rome needed was not more swords…
But more morale.
And so began the strangest assignment in Roman history.
Fakir Antantos and Fukur Salamantan were no longer just soldiers…
They were about to become Rome’s official morale unit.
But this new duty would drag them into the most dangerous and absurd adventures the empire had ever seen…
To Be Continued…
