Despite not being fully invested in the information technology world, I have always hovered around it. Due to the somewhat haphazard and incoherent development of technology in my locality, following the development pattern has been somewhat frustrating. This has in turn led to situations where I am more or less bouncing from one tech program to the other just to find a place to settle.
Another thing that hurt my intentions when I first developed some interest in IT was the lack of proper mentoring. The guy who talked me into trying was already preparing for the CCNA Routers and Switches exam. So, automatically, my mind was towards learning about network administration and security. But when I asked around I was told the field is supersaturated and it'll be more or less a waste of my time learning such around here.
My resolve to learn IT became stronger when a training institute offered me a 75% discount to learn any course of my choosing. When I checked their flyer, the first course that attracted my attention was Ethical Hacking. And with the way hackers are seen as badass, I want to do it. Then, came the spoiler: for me to be trained I have to sign an agreement whereby if I'm caught using my knowledge wrongly I'll be apprehended and tried as a criminal. Well, as you may guess, I immediately lost interest in hacking.
Then I looked at the courses once again and saw the two most expensive ones: Redhat and Oracle 10g. With a little bit of inquiry, I chose Oracle 10g. Of course, I was able to finish the training classes despite the distractions but I never sat for the exam. It coincided with my final year in the university and I had to prioritize my undergraduate project. Back then there were limited resources and the internet wasn't as vast as it is now. Banks were the only ones using some form of database management system and most couldn't afford Oracle products. Without writing the OCA exam, opportunities were nonexistent. With that, I went off the rails.
I was away from IT stuff for a while until I was admitted to a government project to learn CCNA. Initially, I wasn't interested but they were going to pay for the training and the professional exam. I will be gaining knowledge at zero financial cost. I keyed into it, sat for the classes and passed the exam. And then, I lost interest because it was a course in a niche where someone told me seven years prior that the market was supersaturated. Anyway, I kept the certificate to boost my résumé.
Since then I've laid off tech stuff until I started hearing about data analysis recently. At first, I felt it was useless but I've always had to crudely analyze data, especially in the academic space. So I felt learning it would help me. This time, I'll be learning a tech course not to be a tech guy but to incorporate it into what I'm already doing. But then, it's been another frustrating journey.
Last year I got admitted into the government's 3MTT stuff. I was placed in a group with a couple of people but classes coincided with my work hours. I didn't attend 5% of the class. I didn't learn anything. Others graduated and were given certificates of completion. Me? I got nothing. Funnily enough, I applied again and was chosen for this year's cohort. By the time I saw the mail, I was already a month behind the class. Since then I've been very worried because I know this is an opportunity I can't afford to miss for the second time.
The most disturbing part is that since I knew I was picked again, I've not done anything to close the gap to the rest of the class. Whenever I wish to start, I get overly anxious and worried to the point that I'll log out and continue with something else. I have to overcome this anxiety. I need to get this done, for once.
