A lot of marriages are still surviving not because of the love between the partners involved, but because of the duty and responsibility the partners have towards raising their kids in a complete family setting. Believe it or not, a lot of men are tired, a lot of women want out. However, the thought of raising kids in broken homes and the inherent effect on their development is always a point of consideration.
Divorce is an awful process to experience. And when the partners are bitter towards each other, it is even more complicated than imagined. However, when things get to a head, divorce may be the best solution. The Western world has been at it for a long time. In my territory here, it is still frowned upon. Divorcée are still looked down on, especially the females. Divorcees are still looked at through the lens of the cultural belief that enforced two, three or more women to be living under the same roof as wives to a single man.
When it comes to choosing between staying in a terrible marriage to have a family structure around a child or seeking divorce to maintain one's sanity, divorce is the best way forward. Look, a lot of the things we do as adults are picked in bits and pieces from those around us along the way, especially our parents. If a partner continues to endure an unpalatable relationship for the sake of the children, everyone will lose.
One of the reasons why men are still so dominant and commanding down here is because that was what they experienced growing up. Some of them witnessed their dad beating their mom to a stupor. Some saw how their dad impregnated another woman, brought her home as the second wife without any sense of guilt, and continues to live like he has the right to sleep with any woman she wants and can't be held accountable for it. The boy automatically grows up with the mindset that he owes his wife no accountability or explanation as to whatever he chooses to do.
Yes, a broken home can mess up a child. It's hard enough for two grown-ups to raise a child in the right way, not to talk of when the load now falls on one person. Kids from broken homes undoubtedly do go through traumatic experiences. I remember when I was little I used to talk about where our parents took us during Christmas. A child from a broken home listening to that will feel bad because he knows he won't experience such. In no time, they become withdrawn and drown in their sorrows.
Despite that, a non-toxic environment is the best place to raise a child, either with one parent or both. However, one needs to consider the kids before making divorce decisions though divorce may be the best the kids need, especially when the relationship has gotten to toxic levels. Or, would you rather have your male child grow up in a house where the father physically assaults the mother? Will it interest you if your girl child stands, watches and learn as her mother abuses, drains and manipulates her father emotionally?
