Does eating dinner together at the same time really strengthens the family bond? Or is it just an assumption based on expectations?
In my home, as a little boy, we barely ate together. Dad is mostly out when it is time for dinner. Mom on the other hand will stay behind to clean the kitchen immediately after serving our food. Of course, we won't wait for her to finish up. By the time she's ready to eat, we would have forgotten we ate something.
As a kid, do I love this arrangement? Hell, yeah, I do, and for very important reasons. The very few times that I shared the table with my mom were different. The atmosphere at the dining table automatically shifted from that of relaxation and enjoyment to a tense and quiet one.
Every laid down rule stressing table manners must be adhered to. Eating goes from being a leisurely and interesting exercise to a tense, boring one. If I dared break any of the rules guiding table manners, justice was served on the spot with no regard to whatever I'm eating. Either in the form of a stare down or a some degree of spanking, the dining table was not a place to mess around.
Besides not getting monitored while eating, another good thing that comes out of not eating together is the opportunity of a highly anticipated second round of meals. Whenever dad finally decides to eat, he just never finishes his food. He'd retain a copious amount for us.
Now, while this looks normal, in the few times that we all ate together, mom would kick against it. So, yes, eating together denies us of that much craved "daddy's food" that somehow always tastes sweeter than our food despite that both sets of food were taken from the same pot.
Presently, in my own family, we eat together at the same time. I made sure of this based on the deductions I made from my experience as a little child. Funnily enough, I make sure my kids experience both the negatives and the positives of eating together at the same time like I did. But this time, it's tweaked.
As parents, especially fathers, one thing I have realised is that we actually do not have as much time as we would've wanted to spend with our kids. While we are out there chasing money to cater for our homes, in a lot of cases, I have seen homes fall apart simply because of the lack of moral inputs from the dad.
Mom was able to raise us to be good because she was a strict disciplinarian; heck, she still is. Despite her best efforts, there were some things I wish I learnt from my dad as a guy that would've made life a lot less trickier. Those things can only be learnt in some little family bonding time while eating together.
I could remember one of those scenarios in the boarding school when I was shamed on my first day for struggling to use a fork and knife in an appropriate manner. Now, my mom is the "swallow" food type of person - guys from my region already understand what I meant by that. Dad on the other hand doesn't eat "swallows". So he uses forks and knives everyday.
While he eats, though I was always present, my aim was never to focus on his culinary skills - "wetin concern me?" All I think about is how I'll enjoy his leftover food. With that I never properly learnt and was later shamed for it.
Asides the joy and happiness they feel when they're next to me at the diner, spending time eating together with my kids helps me monitor and strike out those little mistakes that may eventually catch up with them later in life. Also, I'm very mild with corrections, not using the "full metal jacket" style of correction I experienced.
In short, fathers, eat together with your family. The time spent together is always priceless. Also, your kids will grow up with wonderful memories.
